Round 2

The short story of how I got blown up again goes like this. We were traveling north to go secure the perimeter of a village so a few Blackhawk helicopters could come in and land and drop off our first platoon so they could go through and kill or capture all the bad guys that hide out there. The timeline was tight so we were moving a little faster than normal up the highway. We had just passed the north edge of one of the cities in our area which is an area that often has IED’s placed there. These areas are known as “Tier One Sites”.

I am assisting a new member of our platoon with navigating and identifying IED’s and such from the lead tank. Just kind of being a tour guide in a way. We are in a tank (Wikipedia: M1A2 Abrams) and I am in the loaders hatch. This means that I am one of the two guys on the top of the tank with there heads out. We pass a large blast hole and as we do I think I see something so I stand up higher to get a better look. Yes, as ridiculous as it sounds that’s how you do it. Look in a hold and decide that; “yes there is a bomb” or “no, it’s clear”. The blast hole was clear and right as I turn around I go back to looking at the shoulder of the road for discrepancies or anything that looks tampered where a roadside bomb might be hiding. It goes off.

At that point is when the shoulder of the road just explodes in front of us. The blast is ridiculously loud and the concussion off the explosion hits me so hard that it knocks my legs out from under me and I tumble like a Plinko chip on the Price is Right to the floor of the tank.

The best part about being in a tank is that the height that we ride at often keeps the shrapnel from getting to you. But the blast still hits like a head on collision and that’s what I caught the brunt of. No shrapnel just dirt and scorching hot air.

We never did find the SOB, that did it. We couldn’t stop and raid the entire town like I had wanted. We had a mission that we needed to complete and the birds were inbound. I have plenty of time left over here and this group of guys, usually 3 to 4 work in an IED team, has a special place on the top of my list.

The only injuries I received weren’t from shrapnel but from the fall. I bruised my spine pretty good just above my tailbone and it looks and feels like I got hit with a baseball bat. There is also a pretty good cut on my shin. I have no idea what my shin hit but it did and there is now a golf ball underneath my cut.

Don’t despair over me folks, I am fine. Just a little bit pissed. Just a few hours earlier that day we had found another IED and given the make up of it and the one that I was hit with I am pretty sure that it was done by the same guys. I took some video of the IED we found earlier that day and I have added a still frame from it. This blast was most likely the same as the one that hit me. Take care, and keep sending prayers my way. They are working.

Two 130mm Artillery Rounds

My shin.

Stay Tuned

Its 0843 Monday morning here. A lot has happened since I last wrote. I got my Taco Bell, and I got my Pizza Hut. We caught some bad guys and at 0300 this morning I got my ass rocked by another roadside bomb. I’m fine though. There is no need to worry. Just battered and severely bruised but I will soldier on.

I hope your Monday starts out better than mine did. If you see Holly or my Mom give them a hug, they worry just like I am sure you all do. But I think news like this hits them harder than the two 130mm rounds from 6 feet away hit me. Give ‘em a hug and check back in tomorrow and hopefully I will get some time to write.

As for now I must go get checked by the PA and the Physical Therapist on the FOB. Then maybe I can squeeze in a few hours rest before I roll out again this evening.

Love you all,
JAKE

Rule Number One

Tyler Durden once said, “The first rule of Fight Club is you never talk about Fight Club”.

There are a lot of “Number One” rules in life or “Golden Rules” or whatever you want to call them. I once read an article by a reporter for CBS, whose name I can’t seem to remember but anyway, in his article about reporting from war zones across the world he said that the number one rule is to “always have a camera with you”. No matter what, whenever you think things will be calm or that you wont be needing it, you undoubtedly will be kicking yourself as you watch something amazing or horrific happen before of your eyes and there you will stand with no way to capture it and share it with the world.

For however many months I have been fighting over here with these idiots, I have always done a very good job of always carrying my camera with me and I have been able to snap some pretty good pictures and get some fairly good footage. I also have one rule for myself, never film during a fire fight; Ever. That’s what CNN is for.

Despite our best efforts there will most always be that one time when we break the “number one” rule and we are left kicking our self for it. That day for me was yesterday.

During our usual rotation out at the Patrol Base we were called out to investigate some vehicles that had been spotted with passengers outside wearing ski mask and carrying weapons. Air support comes on the scene and just like a high speed chase in Los Angeles there was no where for these fools to run. They drove around in circles trying to act cool and innocent, they got out went in a house changed clothes got in separate cars and tried to split up and get away. Unfortunately for them my platoon equipped with two tanks and two gun trucks was arriving on the scene just then and there lives of death and destruction was quickly coming to an end.

We knew they were armed heavily so we were expecting a fight. Like a hostage negotiation scene from a movie the interrupter was on the bullhorn calling out for them to exit the vehicles with their hands empty and raised or be met by a hail of gunfire. For a tense moment the demands went unanswered. That’s when I fired a few well placed shots in the dirt near and their windows and they realized the gig was up and it was time for them to surrender.

They came out hands up and were met by myself a few fellow dismounts on the ground where we began searching them and their cars. The fighters were all unarmed when they exited the cars but once in the cars we found several AK-47’s, a 9mm Pistol, a PKC automatic machine gun all fully loaded and several large knives and a hand grenade.

But this isn’t when I wish I had my camera which I left sitting next to a note that said “DON’T FORGET CAMERA” on a hot pink sticky note back at my CHU. After cuffing all the bad guys, getting all their weapons and searching for anything else that could be useful we walked them back a safe distance turned them around to face their expensive (Iraq standards that is.) Toyota Crowns (A V-6 Toyota Camry) that had been imported to them. At that time my roommate threw an incendiary grenade into the seats of the cars setting them all a blaze. And while he sprinted back to our vehicles we began spraying down their cars with a full barrage of bullets. Every machine gun we had riddled holes through their cars and the bad guys just sat there and watched as it all burned away.

Even for those of you out there who aren’t gun enthusiast, there are few better ways to relieve some stress than shooting up a insurgents car with a fully automatic weapon.

And as we rode back to the Patrol Base with the sun setting and thick black smoke billowing into the sky from three burning cars, I thought to myself, I am such an idiot for forgetting my camera.

[Insert really cool picture here]

If I drank...

Okay, you know its been a slow day over in Iraq when I start posting random messages from friends on MySpace.com but once I read this I felt it was my duty as a citizen of the great state of Oklahoma and a friend to many alcoholic beverage consumers to post this for your reading and drinking pleasure.

Now for some of you out there that don’t know the great Meteorologist Gary England then this will not make any sense to you and for that I am terribly sorry. But for those of you out there that are lucky enough to live in "Tornado Alley" and get to listen to grown men freak out on live television about the size of clouds or the number of mobile homes being hurled through the air then this is especially for you. Pass it along to your friends; prepare for bad weather, get a 30 pack of “Stones” and Happy Drinking.

"The Gary England Drinking Game"

"We'll keep you advised"

Game Setup:
A few friends that enjoy drinking in large amounts.
A TV tuned to News 9 home of Gary England
An ample supply of 12oz Adult Beverages of choice.
And always a designated driver. Safety first kids!

How to Play:
It’s quite simple, follow the prescribed rules below and pay close attention to the television. Any time that a certain objective is met drink the pre assigned amount. Continue until the weather clears, you run out of drinks or you must flee for safety.

WARNING:
It is not advised to continue playing the game if you are in immediate or direct danger of the ensuing storms. It is also not advised to drink until you pass out rendering you unable to flee for safety.

Pregame:
1. Everyone selects a storm chaser other than Val Caster. Every time Gary talks to your storm chaser, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your storm chaser. Take four drinks if your storm chaser says "tornado on the ground."

2. Everyone selects a county other than Pottawatomie County. Every time Gary mentions your county, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your county. Take four drinks if a tornado touches down in your county.

One drink:
1. Take one drink every time Gary says the following:
"Hook echo" "Updraft" "Metro" "Doppler radar" "Wall cloud" "Ranger 9" "Underground" "Mobile home"

2. When Gary gives a list of counties, take one drink for every county in the list.

3. Take one drink every time Gary interrupts a program. Take one drink if Gary says "You're not missing any of [program name]." Take one drink when Gary says "We'll keep you advised."


Two drinks:
1. Take two drinks every time Gary says the following:
"Baseball-sized hail" "Waterloo Road" "Pottawatomie County" "Deer Creek High School"

2. Take two drinks every time Gary mentions the following towns:
Altus Burns Flat Dill City Gotebo Hydro Lookeba Meeker Mulhall Oktaha Olustee Shattuck Slaughterville Tryon Vici Waukomis Wayne (or Payne) Weleetka Wetumkah

3. Take two drinks every time Gary talks to Val Caster.


Three drinks:
1. Take three drinks if we see footage from Val Caster.


2. Take three drinks if we see footage from Pottawatomie County.

3. Take three drinks if Gary mentions the following:
"Immediate tornado precautions" "National Weather Service" "Mesocyclone" "Portable Radio" "Take shelter" "Tornado warning in effect until …"

Four drinks:
1. Take four drinks if Ranger 9 must land to refuel.

2. Take four drinks if Gary issues his own tornado warning, not recognized by the NWS or says the following:
"Will someone please answer that phone?" "Do you see power flashes?"

3. Take four drinks if a shirt-less tornado victim is interviewed.

Finish your drink:
1. Finish your drink if someone uses the word tornado as a verb or if Gary mentions the nearest cross streets to you.

2. If Gary says "We've lost Val," pour a little out for your homies and finish your drink.

I Miss Oklahoma

So my good friend Tristan is a new resident to Tulsa and just shared this little tale with me and I knew that a few more of you would get a smile from it as well.

Tristan : "I was driving down Peoria two seconds ago, and drove by a Chinese guy dressed in a full Santa costume, riding a bicycle down the middle of the road with a sign on his back that said "Will Sing Naked For $1". I can't make this stuff up. Tulsa is growing on me already..."

Jake : "That is classic I am putting that in my blog."

Tristan : "It caught me totally off-guard. I had to go around him."


The End

Hot Hot Heat

So I thought you all might want to know a little more about what’s going on with me over here and it just so happened that my good friend Blake sent me a few the other day. So here you go Blake and fellow readers.


1. What are the high and low temperatures over there for a normal day? How hot does it get in the tanks?

Well, for a normal day in the month of June the highs are up to around 115 and at night it dips down to around 80. Eighty might not seem that cool but coming down from 115 its great. There is a nice breeze during the night and it feels great to just stand there and cool off. The breeze during the day however feels more like a hair dryer blowing in your face. Inside the tanks it gets dreadfully hot. The driver has a little fan that blows on him and the two guys up top with their heads out get some of the breeze and but they get baked by the sun. I am a gunner so I am stuffed down inside out of the breeze and fresh air. There are times that the heat gets so bad you start to feel sick and I have to swap out and get some fresh air and cool off in the 115 degree heat outside. I don’t have a thermometer but I will find out just how hot it is getting in there, if they make any that go that high that is.

2. When does it start to "cool off" (August? September? Never?)

I got here in October of last year and it was starting to cool off pretty good. The highs were around the 90’s and soon into November the temps really fell off and the winter was much like Oklahoma’s but shorter. It actually did snow on my birthday last year so that was pretty cool. Apart from for the fact that the wind was blowing about 20mph and I was up in a guard tower exposed to it all.

3. Do the soldiers ever do physical exercise; running on treadmills, lifting weights, etc, or do you get all the exercise you need from your daily missions?

We get plenty of exercise from the missions and such but we do have a gym here on the FOB that’s not too bad. It’s all primarily donated equipment from gyms and schools from across the country. It’s got everything we need but it often gets very crowded in which it gets really hot and despite the best attempt of the AC units. I enjoying going because it gives me something to do, something to get me out of my CHU and off the internet and a good way to get rid of some of the frustration that automatics weapons can’t.

4. On that note, how many pounds of gear are you carrying on an average mission?

It really varies quite a bit. The mission will always dictate what we will need. Things such as are we taking tanks, trucks or are we being air inserted from helicopters. When we are on the tanks we just wear a striped down version of our body armor, without all the pouches and bags attached to it. When we roll in the trucks then you have all the excess stuff attached to you because the guys in the trucks are the ones that get on the ground and do all the leg work while the tanks over watch and block off the area. When we do Air Assault missions we bring it all, you have all you pouches and ammo, water and gear. You never know what you might need out there so prepare for the worse. You can’t run back to the truck to grab something in those cases. It also varies on what part of the mission we may be doing, some guys have to carry spike strips to keep fleeing cars from getting away and some guys carry rockets launchers to stop the car if they are getting away.
As far as pounds of gear, a stripped down body armor weights something like 30 pounds. Then you add additional side plates putting it near 36. Once you have your fully loaded magazines and other miscellaneous stuff like a hand grenade or smoke grenade or radio it’s probably about another 10 pounds. Then put on a Camelback hydration system that holds about three liters when it’s full that adds another few pounds. Then for Air Assaults you also have an assault pack with all sorts of random necessities in there totally about 25 to 20 pounds. So all and all after all the arithmetic it is really quite heavy but after time you just get use to it. I always like to say that my grandfather was a Marine in World War Two and he didn’t have all this and he was just fine so why do I need it. But really I would never roll out the gate with out it.

5. How much water do you drink a day?

If it’s a day that we are out on a mission I drink around four or five 32oz bottles. On top of that I usually have a few bottles of Gatorade to mix it up a little. And of course you have to account for energy drink consumption which is normally two Red Bulls or Monsters and about 6 Rip-Its. I don’t drink nearly enough water as I should but I have yet to fall out. (Slang for; pass-out, give up, not make it). I also eat somewhat healthy and I am such a fine physical specimen I can handle these things you know.


So there you all go, consider yourselves educated in Summer Time Warfare in Iraq. If you have anymore questions just ask and I would love to answer to the best of my abilities.

Summer School

So while I was home I had a number of people say that they always want to leave a comment on here but they just don’t know how. Now maybe they were just trying to make small talk or they really just didn’t know. Well class, get out a sheet of paper and a number two pencil and take good notes.

• First read the blog.
• Next determine if you would like to leave a comment and what your mother would think if she heard you use such language.
• If you don’t want to leave a comment, then you can stop here. You are done, goodbye.
• Now if you are kind enough to send your salutations you will click on the little word at the bottom of the blog entry that says “Comments”
• There will now appear an empty box and that is where you will type your witty jokes or sweet minded endearments.
• Done? Alright, let’s continue!
• With you comment typed and edited to ensure there are no last names, social security numbers or embarrassing photos you will need to complete the word verification. Simply type the series of letter that appear above. I really cant break it down much easier than that for you.
• Now its time to inform all the readers out there in this thing they call a “blogoshpere” just who you are.
• If you DO have a blog of your own, just sign in and it will take care of everything from there.
• For the 99.36% that DO NOT have a blog and do feel like leaving your first name or clever nickname, click Other.
• It will then allow you to type your new clever name and your website. If you don’t have a website, then leave it blank. If you do or would like to put an appropriate site on there do so. I highly recommend Homestarrunner.com
• If you are leaving lines of anger and spite then you can choose the “Anonymous” option and let the mystery begin!

I hope this has been an informative and productive class for everyone. I will also be teaching a Self Defense class every Monday at 10am at the public library. Remember your mouth piece I will no longer share mine.


Its 5pm Wednesday here (Iraqi Standard Time) [I just made that up] and I have been awake since Monday. [That is a true statement.] This post is much funnier at this stage of delirium; at least it is to me. Goodnight everyone.

Two Clicks South of Hell

Just south of Hell you will find a little place on the map known as Iraq and during the summer the heat waves blur the lines of just where Hell ends and where Iraq begins. Violence picks up as the heat does and the heat just beats you down a little more. Of course the desert is going to be hot and I fully understood that coming into this place. I also thought; “It gets hot in Oklahoma and Texas so can it really be that much worse over here?” I am an idiot. First of all it’s not even to the hottest part of the year and I am whining. But as for now its 113 in the shade and the “breeze” feels more like someone is walking in front of you with a blow dryer and throwing handfuls of sand in your face.

Really all I can say is that it’s miserable already. Even the flies in this country can’t tolerate the sun so they hide in the shade making every refuge from the sun just a bit less uncomfortable. I’m not just talking about the one or two annoying flies that buzz by like in the states. I am talking forty or fifty that are all over you, which is probably due to the fact I have been sweating for the past 36 hours and smell just better than the north end of a south bound moose. It’s ridiculously annoying and I really just wish I was laid out on the couch soaking up some A/C and mindlessly channel surfing.

Rest And Recuperation - Part II

After the whirlwind that was my homecoming at DFW, it all just kept getting better once we made it home. From the midnight call to go meet everyone out at Louie’s on Campus, to all the friends and family and everyone that showed up Saturday night. It was great not only seeing everyone but to see everyone in one place having a good time was even better.

From there we headed north and Holly was finally able to meet the rest of my family. Being Mothers Day it was also great day to spend some time with my Mother. I think she liked the gift of her boy coming home and having all her kids together again. It was a great day and there was great weather to make it all that much better. It was great to see my family and to just begin to try and thank them for all the things that they have done since I have been over here. It was a quick little trip but we got it done, and I can not wait to see them all again when I get home.

With all the family and friends seen it was time for Holly and I to take some time to ourselves so for some real relaxation what better place than Las Vegas. In the past 23 years of my life I have heard many stories about just amazing and extravagant Vegas is but until you see it in person you have just no idea. Stories, pictures, the Travel Channel just cant do Vegas justice. We stayed there for 3 nights and every night there was like a Friday. It was wild. Now, I have never been a person to just have the best luck. So the odds were against me in Vegas. But despite the fact that I was losing money left and right I was still having a great time. Luckily, Holly was having pretty good luck for the first few days to help make up for my losing. The second day some friends drove out from California so see us for the day which was awesome seeing as we haven’t seen them in nearly a year. Justin had been to Vegas quite a few times since moving out to California and for some reason I decided to listen to him when he said we should go play Texas Hold’em there at Caesar’s Palace. So we did, and at first I was up big, but that was slowly dwindled down and like a meth addict I just couldn’t quit and after having nearly 500 dollars in chips I left the table with a little over a hundred. So lesson learned; peer pressure in Vegas is a very bad thing. But still, I was having a great time. But that sums up my gambling in Vegas, I had fun, but I lost a lot. But it’s Vegas so; who cares?

Holly and I really did our best to see all the sights we could. But even a week in Vegas just wouldn’t be enough time I am afraid. We rode the coaster at New York – New York, saw the Shark Aquarium at Mandalay Bay a Cirque Du Soleil show at NY-NY and the water show at the Bellagio and after seven months in Iraq, we ate like royalty. No matter where you eat the food is great. But there is one restaurant in the Venetian that was highly recommended by my Aunt and Uncle by the name, Delmonico Steakhouse. Hands down, Best. Meal. Ever. That’s all I can really say about it. It was just awesome. So next time you visit, before you lose all your money, go there.

All and all Vegas was more than I could ever have expected. My entire leave was way better than I could have ever imagined. It was great to be able to see everyone, even if it was for just a short period of time. I was so happy I got to see everyone that I did. I can not thank you all for everything that you did for Holly and I while I was home. All the gifts and support really were way more than I ever expected and I am truly blessed to have such friends and family out there. You all really made my R&R great. Even my brothers “Labrador from hell”, Stella, even she wasn’t too big of a pain in the ass.

Rest and Recuperation – Part I

I am back and boy, did I not miss this place. Things are still the same. It’s still hot; about 107 today in the shade. It still smells like dirt, exhaust and poor people and it still is a very dangerous place. I left here on May 5th, and since then I lost a good friend and former Lieutenant. By far the best LT I have ever had and was a true hard charging leader and it was an honor to get to work with him. Another good friend has lost his leg and another is in serious condition and is still in the balance as he recovers from his wounds. Three other soldiers from a platoon that is attached to my company and guys I have worked with on several missions were also killed just a few days ago. A lot has happened while I was gone; but how great it was to be gone.

Now that all the sad business has been discussed I would like to share with you just how great my time away from this place truly was. I honestly could not have asked for a better time at home, with my friends, with my family, with Holly, with everyone. I never realized just how much I missed everyone and just how great America is.

From the time I landed at DFW it was an awesome show of support. It started with the DFW Fire Department spraying their water cannons in a big arch over our plane as it pulled off the runway. Then as we moved off the plane and walked towards the US Customs area we passed the terminal were everyday people just waiting for their flights stood up and applauded and cheered for us and we made our way through. It was an awesome feeling for sure and the first of many goosebumps. After we got our leave paperwork stamped and cleared customs we made our way to the terminal where most soldiers would be boarding connecting flights but this where several soldiers and I met up with our very anxious families.

As I rounded the corner and came out of the hallway I was met face first by dozens and dozens of proud veterans, school kids, supporters and probably the best kiss ever from Holly. It was a complete blur of cheering people wanting to shake your hand, give you hugs, little bags of cookies and candy and support. It was so much I almost didn’t even see Holly and my family and Holly’s family waiting there. Never in my life could I have imagined such a awesome home coming.

After we left the airport everything was just perfect. The weather was beautiful and we were all able to sit down and enjoy and great All-American breakfast at none other than, IHOP.

Okay so now its time for you all to get back to work, your boss wouldn’t appreciate all the company time you spend reading my blog I imagine. I will type more about my great adventures soon. As for any of you that just might be sitting in the Dallas, Texas area with nothing better to do on any given morning there will always be troops coming home at Terminal D and trust me, they would love to shake your hand.