If I drank...

Okay, you know its been a slow day over in Iraq when I start posting random messages from friends on MySpace.com but once I read this I felt it was my duty as a citizen of the great state of Oklahoma and a friend to many alcoholic beverage consumers to post this for your reading and drinking pleasure.

Now for some of you out there that don’t know the great Meteorologist Gary England then this will not make any sense to you and for that I am terribly sorry. But for those of you out there that are lucky enough to live in "Tornado Alley" and get to listen to grown men freak out on live television about the size of clouds or the number of mobile homes being hurled through the air then this is especially for you. Pass it along to your friends; prepare for bad weather, get a 30 pack of “Stones” and Happy Drinking.

"The Gary England Drinking Game"

"We'll keep you advised"

Game Setup:
A few friends that enjoy drinking in large amounts.
A TV tuned to News 9 home of Gary England
An ample supply of 12oz Adult Beverages of choice.
And always a designated driver. Safety first kids!

How to Play:
It’s quite simple, follow the prescribed rules below and pay close attention to the television. Any time that a certain objective is met drink the pre assigned amount. Continue until the weather clears, you run out of drinks or you must flee for safety.

WARNING:
It is not advised to continue playing the game if you are in immediate or direct danger of the ensuing storms. It is also not advised to drink until you pass out rendering you unable to flee for safety.

Pregame:
1. Everyone selects a storm chaser other than Val Caster. Every time Gary talks to your storm chaser, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your storm chaser. Take four drinks if your storm chaser says "tornado on the ground."

2. Everyone selects a county other than Pottawatomie County. Every time Gary mentions your county, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your county. Take four drinks if a tornado touches down in your county.

One drink:
1. Take one drink every time Gary says the following:
"Hook echo" "Updraft" "Metro" "Doppler radar" "Wall cloud" "Ranger 9" "Underground" "Mobile home"

2. When Gary gives a list of counties, take one drink for every county in the list.

3. Take one drink every time Gary interrupts a program. Take one drink if Gary says "You're not missing any of [program name]." Take one drink when Gary says "We'll keep you advised."


Two drinks:
1. Take two drinks every time Gary says the following:
"Baseball-sized hail" "Waterloo Road" "Pottawatomie County" "Deer Creek High School"

2. Take two drinks every time Gary mentions the following towns:
Altus Burns Flat Dill City Gotebo Hydro Lookeba Meeker Mulhall Oktaha Olustee Shattuck Slaughterville Tryon Vici Waukomis Wayne (or Payne) Weleetka Wetumkah

3. Take two drinks every time Gary talks to Val Caster.


Three drinks:
1. Take three drinks if we see footage from Val Caster.


2. Take three drinks if we see footage from Pottawatomie County.

3. Take three drinks if Gary mentions the following:
"Immediate tornado precautions" "National Weather Service" "Mesocyclone" "Portable Radio" "Take shelter" "Tornado warning in effect until …"

Four drinks:
1. Take four drinks if Ranger 9 must land to refuel.

2. Take four drinks if Gary issues his own tornado warning, not recognized by the NWS or says the following:
"Will someone please answer that phone?" "Do you see power flashes?"

3. Take four drinks if a shirt-less tornado victim is interviewed.

Finish your drink:
1. Finish your drink if someone uses the word tornado as a verb or if Gary mentions the nearest cross streets to you.

2. If Gary says "We've lost Val," pour a little out for your homies and finish your drink.