All Inclusive Weekend

Tired of work? Need a weekend away? Love to hunt? Well do I have the offer for you! Come on out for a two night stay at Patrol Base Love! That’s right you can get away from it all and spend a relaxing few days getting to know yourself better than ever all while on an unbelievable hunting trip. With such great accommodations and guides for such a great price you won’t believe it. Just read some of the great [awful] things we have to offer here and write down a few tips from previous guest and you will be on your way to a fabulous weekend hunting adventure. This is the only place where the hunted is being hunted too!

First off you will be set up with several experienced guides who will show you everything there is on this hunting trip. No where else can you hunt an animal so wild it just might kill you. You will be fully equipped with an arrangement of weaponry. We offer everything from a 9mm pistol to an Anti-Tank rocket to an actual tank! We offer full training on everything so you will be fully prepared once out in the wilderness.

Just wait until the guys at the office see these pictures!

Your heart will race as you begin your journey to a secluded cottage in the desert. You will pass famous hunting grounds and landmarks like; “The Sombrero” or the “Chicken Farms”, in the distance you will see the famous “Wang Chung Drive-In”. You will see plenty of wild game while on the trip but to bag a trophy you must be patient and wait for the right moment and conditions otherwise you could have your hunting license revoked and you could be sent back empty handed.

Once at the cottage you will be served the finest food there. Everything from frozen chicken nuggets and egg rolls to muffins and cookies. We the truly hardcore we even offer Military MRE’s. On a trip of this caliber you must truly appreciate your surroundings and you will cook your food from a historic [dilapidated] oven that has a famous signature taste. [Burning crumbs caked to the bottom]

Guest Tip: During my stay my plate was attacked by several kittens and I lost all six of my nuggets to them. Remember to never set your plate down and turn your back, you really are in the wild!

Guest Tip: Due to the historic nature of the oven you must be patient. Food takes around twenty minutes to fully cook and it is always a popular place so get there early. Also check the plug, it seems to have been spliced with an old cord possibly to a lamp and if the oven catches fire, don’t worry, it happens all the time! Its part of the experience and it helps add that authentic taste that can only be found there.


After a good meal of nuggets and egg rolls and a full day spent hunting through orange groves and blighted villages. You will head back for a few hours of great sleep in your cozy cottage. With the hand made beds [bunk beds!] you and your fellow guest will grow closer. The hunt can always begin without notice here so to ensure you are ready to go we require our guest to sleep fully clothed and no need to worry about getting tangled in the sheets, because we don’t have linens! That’s right just you and a bare mattress. Then for our repeat customers don’t have to worry about a change because here we have never changed the mattresses so next time you will feel right at home on the same mattress that so many guest have shared.

When the wilderness calls you will be sure to remember this one of a kind bathroom, facility. The quaint bathroom features one toilet and that’s it! No sink, no showers, no time wasted with all that city-boy stuff; we are here to hunt! To add that true feel to the hunt we have limited the running water to only when the power in the nearby city is on and the historic native plumbing won’t accommodate such luxuries like toilet paper so toss your used paper in an empty sandbag and hone your fire making skills and burn it.

Guest Tip: If the water is running you are good to go, if not you maybe waiting for a while. If you can’t make it you can grab a shovel and head to the other side of the berm. The water it truly wild, it is unfiltered and unsanitized. What ever you do not drink it or even touch it. Stick to the bottled water.

Guest Tip: While on my recent hunting trip there was a female there along with us. She was very unhappy with the bathroom facilities or any of the facilities for that matter. I strongly suggest that females not partake in this type of trip. This is only for a real mans-man.

There are count-less other great things that I could go on and on about. But I am pretty sure those few have sealed the deal and have you packing you bags already. It’s cozy and secluded, has everything you need to escape the office and all the problems at home. Hell, when you get back your old problems won’t even seem like problems! So if you need a weekend away or feel like shooting various weapons, just give us a call and we will get you on your way to the hunting trip of a lifetime!