The Life I Lead...

The Final Chapter, The Final Page

2007-11-14T04:35:00.000-08:00

This is it. This is the final blog from FOB Brassfield –Mora. My bags are packed and the birds are inbound. I am headed out to LSA Anaconda for a few days where we will link back up with our orginal battalion and then we will all head back to the Mother Land!

I honestly can not believe that it is finally here. We are finally going home. We have fought the fight, we have fought it to the standard and we have made a difference. We helped the people of Iraq, we made this area safer, stronger and have helped get them on the path to a better future. There are so many things I will never forget from my times here. This place is full of surprises, horror, and complete and total craziness. Even through all the war and poverty there is still some bleak form of beauty in all the chaos.

More than anything else, I will never forget the soldiers and friends I lost here. During the past 14 months here we have lost 24 guys from this FOB. Six of those soldiers were from my company, a company that consisted of only 75 soldiers that left the safety of the FOB. They were my friends, they were guys I use to joke with and guys I fought side by side with. All good men and all will never be forgotten.

For the past 14 months you all have been so supportive and gracious with all the care packages, comments and cards. You all have been so great and made my life so much better over here. I know I have told you all before, but once again, with all seriousness; Thank you. And finally for the last time from my CHU, take care and I will see you soon and Thank you.

"NEVER FORGET"

1LT Ceroni, KIA, Samarra, Iraq - VBIED
SPC. Winkler, KIA, Samarra, Iraq - VBIED
1LT. Bacevich, KIA, Samarra, Iraq - Suicide Bomber
SGT. Dunn, KIA, Samarra, Iraq - Culvert Bomb
SPC. Jaraguie, KIA, Samarra, Iraq - Culvert Bomb
SPC. Millard, KIA, Samarra, Iraq - Culvert Bomb

SPC. Hall, WIA, Samarra, Iraq - Lost his leg from an IED

SGT. James, WIA, Samarra, Iraq - Lost his leg from an IED

SGT. Cowart, WIA, Samarra, Iraq - Lost his leg from a Suicide Bomber

SGT. Roberti, WIA, Samarra, Iraq - Shrapnel from a VBIED

SPC. Ashby, WIA, Samarra, Iraq - Shrapnel from a VBIED

SGT. Ford, WIA, Samarra, Iraq - Broken Back from a Culvert Bomb

SGT. Brong, WIA, Samarra, Iraq - Paralized from a Culvert Bomb

SPC. Hardin, WIA, Samarra, Iraq - Lost his hand from and RPG

SGT. Parsons, WIA, Samarra, Iraq - Shrapnel Wounds from an RPG

SSG. Crumpler, WIA, Samarra, Iraq - Broken Leg from and IED

SGT. Uber, WIA, Samarra, Iraq - Trama to the head from and IED

Team Delta, 2nd Battalion 505th Parachute Infantry Regiment

82nd Airborne Division

Samarra, Iraq

OIF 6 - OIF 7

OCT 1st 2006 - DEC 1st 2007

“DRAGOONS”

The Farewell Tour

2007-11-13T02:11:00.000-08:00

Mission Complete. Finally after 415 days in Iraq, after countless trips up and down Route Tampa, after so many nights at Patrol Base Love; I am complete. I left Holly, my friends, my family and my life on October 1st 2006. From there I had no idea what to expect. It was all still unsure where we would be fighting and what our mission would truly be. All we knew is that we were coming over here and we weren’t coming back anytime soon.

My first patrol was on October 17th 2006. My first IED attack was on that same day. The first time I fired my weapon with intent to kill was that day. That day, that attack just south of the small canal bridge set the pace for what became the wildest 14 months of my life. A year was packed full of roadside bombs, mortar attacks, RPG attacks, small arms attacks, culvert bombs, car bombs and guys wearing suicide vest. I witnessed two IED’s up close and very personally and have the Purple Heart to prove it. I saw it all with my own two eyes and no longer through CNN and FOX News. I finally saw just what it was all about over here, what it truly is to be a soldier and what it is to fight for your life.

But finally here I am, after all of that, sitting in my CHU typing what will be one of the final pages in this chapter of my life. I only got out of my tank and unloaded my weapons just a little over an hour ago. But unless something way out of left field or something terribly tragic happens, that should have been and hopefully will be my last patrol. I am done. I am passing the torch to the soldiers of the 101st Airborne Division and wishing them the best of luck with this little slice of Hell on Earth. No more Route Tampa. No more Patrol Base Love.

I can’t really describe the feeling. Part of me, if not most of me feels like it’s not even true. Like it’s all a cruel joke and we aren’t really leaving and until we go, “wheels up” and head to Kuwait I imagine it will continue to feel this way. But tonight was my last patrol. Only eight more days on the FOB. Twelve more days left in Iraq and only fifteen more days until I am standing on that parade field… Only fifteen more days…

Note: Due to a blackout this blog not quite so hot off the press. It's like 3 days old.

The Greener Grass

2007-10-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

This may come as a shock to some of you. But then again some of you, if not most of you, expected it. I look back and think maybe it was just a bad month, maybe I was just burned out. But after looking at my future and my future with Holly and where we both are in our lives and where we both want to be and what exactly we both want to do; I, with some help from Holly, have decided that it would no longer be in my best interest to leave the Army.

A few months ago when I decided no longer wanted to be a part of this game anymore, I was burned out. I suppose the sun had fried my brain. I, just like everyone else at some point in their career, decided I wanted a change. I wanted to go back to the civilian life and enjoy all the beautiful things that there are out there. I wanted to go back to school and I really just wanted a change of pace.

All of that would be simple if say, I were single and planned on keeping that way. I would have no strings attached and no one else to consider. I would just have to look after me, myself and I. But that is no longer my life. I have Holly, a mortgage, two car payments and a dog to look after. If I were to actually get out of the service, if Holly were to quit her job and the two of us and Lola were to move back to Oklahoma then we would be in pretty rough shape. To go from two full time incomes and full dental and medical benefits to whatever McDonalds starting hourly wage is, would be rather harsh.

Then there is the deep down fact that, I do in fact love the Army. I love the thrill of the fight and the team that I fight with. I love being a part of something bigger and being a part of history all at the same time. I love the challenge and the stress. I love the people and the places both good and bad. I love what I do, (most of the time) and if you are doing what you love to do for a job then where are you ever going to find something better.

Of course there are days when I hate this job. There are days when I would love nothing more than to be a fry cook at Burger King. I imagine that most of you are sitting at a desk right now at a job where you will one day mutter, "I swear, one day, I will burn this place to the ground…"

I have goals that I have set for myself in life and in the Army as well. By the end of November, after I have spent close to 430 days over here I will have accomplished those goals and checked all the boxes on that list of my life. But if I were to leave there would always be that one question that would haunt me to no end.

"Would I have made it as an Army Warrant Officer and as an Army Helicopter Pilot?"

As some of you know, I was working on my packet prior to my deployment but was held up when my left eye failed the flight vision test. I was nearly 90% complete with the whole process of test and paperwork when I hit that roadblock. I am now waiting to get back home and get Lasik surgery on my eye. After that I will once again be able to press on with my flight application. I took all of the test and did extremely well, I have my letters of recommendation and I have my security clearance. I have everything in order, except my left eye. So if I were to part ways this coming summer with the Army then I know for a fact that I would be sitting there one day at my mediocre job thinking, "I wonder if I could have made it…?"

So for that and other extenuating reasons I have decided to retract my previous statement. I have changed my mind. I have seen the error of my ways and on today the 29 th day of October in the year 2007 I re-enlisted in the United States Army for another five years.

This decision doesn't come without perks though. In fact it came with 20,000 tax free perks if you know what I mean. I also was given the option to go to Airborne Training once I get back stateside, where the good people of the Army will teach me how to jump out of perfectly good airplanes. Included with all this I also received a "college option" which means the Army will allow me to pretty much take time off from being a soldier so I can attend the school of my choice within 100 miles of Ft. Hood for 12 semester hours all paid for by the Army and all while still receiving my active duty salary.

So in conclusion I am staying in the Army for five more years starting, today. I will receive a nice sized bonus of $20,000 US dollars all of which is tax free. I will get paid my usual salary to take a semester off work and attend college and I will get to jump out of airplanes for the Army. But most importantly I will get the chance to get my eye fixed up and I will get to submit my packet to become a pilot in the Army and hopefully check the next block on my list.

Breakfast Car Bomb

2007-10-19T18:03:00.000-07:00

So after eating so many Army meals for so many days my taste buds have begun to die off and everything from chicken nuggets to spaghetti has begun to taste the same. I rarely even eat at the chow hall any more. The smell in there makes me want to vomit. The walk is ridiculous and the lines are even worse for such poor food. Seriously, death row inmates eat better. The one meal I do make an effort to eat there is breakfast. But with the schedule we are running breakfast seems to be my dinner most of the time. Through out my time here in Iraq however, I have developed my own breakfast meal that I have grown to love. I call it the “Breakfast Car Bomb”

“Breakfast Car Bomb”

Ingredients-
- One serving of scrambled eggs (Must be fake eggs made from powder and fake milk)
- One and a half biscuits ( The softer the better, but "Rock Biscuits" work also)
- One Hash brown (The crispier the better)
- Two Pieces of Bacon (Must be fake bacon and over cooked by like 30 minutes)
- One Big scoop of gravy with sausage tid-bits

Mixing-
- Place the scrambled eggs on the plate first
- Next place the three biscuit halves over the eggs
- On top on that place a layer of cut up hash browns and bacon
- Over everything poor on the gravy evenly coating the entire pile.

Serving-
Prior to eating cut up all the biscuits and stir it all around in to one big mess. Careful not to flip it out all over the table or let the gravy run over the edge. This is a common problem and is very wasteful and not approved of by others.

This meal has become a staple to my rigid diet. It has helped keep this soldier in the fight throughout the year. It has all the food groups except fruit. But fruit is not really a food group, its just there because it’s colorful. So next time you have the family together for Sunday brunch. Fix them up and Breakfast Car Bomb.

“Cause nothing gets your day going like a car bomb!”

Long Time, No Blog

2007-10-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

So the real reason for the lack of blogs lately is the fact that I am really freaking busy. But I have a few hours of down time so I thought I would update all my friends and family back home. So here is the latest from Iraq:

- The weather is FINALLY cooling off and at night it almost gets down to “chilly”.

- My replacement is here. That is the reason why we have been so busy, it is that we are training these guys on everything we have learned over the past 13 months.

- I was at a ceremony where I was awarded a coin by Major General Mixon, (Two Star) commander of the 25th Infantry Division and commander of Multi- National Forces Iraq – North. I was given this for my coordination of Close Air Support (Two F-16 fighters) a Scout Weapons Team (Two Kiowa Attack Helicopters) and two Abrams tanks. Using these forces I was able to guide them on to a team emplacing IED’s and wipe them off the face of the planet. That was my second team to destroy that week.

- I have been packing my bags!

- I have been working very hard on my Fantasy Football teams despite having one of the worst teams in the league.

- I have been missing Holly's birthday for the third year in a row. There is always next year!

- I have also been rubbing in our victory to all the Tex-Ass fans I see around here. Boomer Sooner!

Those are just a few of the many things that are going on around this place. Things are rather crazy. We are all busting our humps for the last few weeks to finish a few fights that we started and to ensure that these guys from the 101st Airborne are well trained and educated on everything going on in our AO. I really will try to post more, I swear. I do have some more pictures to post also. Maybe I will get motivated and do that. All I really know is that I am getting closer and closer to getting out of here. I have less than one month of actual combat left. Then someday soon after that… I will be home.

Well That's Just Great

2007-10-03T16:52:00.000-07:00

So here I am in Iraq. Obviously I am not in the best of places of situations. But I am making due with what I have and I am getting through the days one by one. But then today someone somewhere decided to add just a little more icing to my cake.

As usual on a payday I go check my bank account online, managed by the good people at Republic Bank and Trust. Well much to my surprise there was not as much money as I had hoped. Upon further investigation I see that there are about 9 charges to my account totaling up to just under a thousand dollars. My first thought was, “What the hell has Holly bought now…” But after a deep breath I knew there was no way it could have been her. I really doubt that she had been shopping on to many baby furniture sites. At least I hoped not.

I call her to let her know what’s going on and as I had hoped it wasn’t her; she would never do such a thing, she is too sweet. But now my fears were starting to come true. Someone has stolen my bank account information.

I get on the phone and call up Republic and I was able to get a freeze put on my account and come Monday when all the charges are processed then we will begin the dispute paperwork and hopefully be able to get our money back. Good thing I am over here and have no need for cash 99% of the time.

Hopefully it will be a quick fix; hopefully I don’t have to go around and around trying to get it all taken care of. Hopefully the good people at Republic can handle this situation. It’s not easy handling normal finance matters while over here and I doubt this will be any easier.

I really want to meet the person or people behind this. They must have been really in need of some high quality baby furniture. I wonder if they will tell there kid one day that all his/her baby furniture was purchased from a stolen credit card? I wonder if they realize what I could do to them.

Overtime

2007-10-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

For those that have been counting I will have been deployed for a full twelve months this Monday. Yes that’s right, I have been gone for an entire year. If it wasn’t for that little extension that they hit us with I would be home right now if not on a flight headed that way. Bummer.

Even with about two full months to go signs of change are starting to show around here. Large tents are being put up to house the incoming new soldiers and their equipment is starting to arrive bit by bit everyday. There are even a few 101st Airborne patches walking around the FOB lately. It is just good to see that someone has finally shown up to replace us and we can begin to start packing up and preparing the get the hell on out of here.

What this means to you is that due to my short amount of time left over here you can no longer send any more care packages. I know you all are so saddened by these news. But don’t worry, thanks to your generosity I have plenty of food to make it through the last little bit of time. You all have been so good to me this entire year. I could never thank you all enough.

As for our missions and our continued fight over here, things are still the same for the most part. We are continuing to take the fight to the bad guys and we aren’t letting up just because we are short on time. We don’t want to hand a new unit an area that is all messed up and hasn’t been patrolled or raided in the last thirty days. We would simply be setting them up for failure. They will be fresh and this all takes some time to get use too.

In other news of randomness, I was at the patrol base in the city last night for a good sized mission we were running. While standing around waiting for everything to kick off I was talking to a member of the Navy EOD Team (Explosives Ordinance Disposal, think bomb squad). While talking to him he all the sudden blurts out;

EOD: “Is that really your last name?”
Me: “Uhhh… Yeah, been my last name my whole life.”
EOD: “Holy S***, my ex-wife had the same last name, she took everything from me, even my dog. I hate that b****.
Me: Even the dog? That sucks.

What is so weird about this whole thing is that through out my entire life I have never seen, met or heard of anyone that has my same last name. Well of course there is my immediate family but no one outside of them. Everything I was ever able to trace back showed that my name game from German settlers that came over and settled somewhere in the Ohio and Pennsylvania area. Sure enough this guy and his rather hated ex-wife were from Ohio.

So yeah, that was a rather random story. Just one many I have collected over here. But when you scrape up so many of America’s finest and stuff them all in a sandbox, some rather odd stories will emerge. After living, fighting and sitting on the highway waiting for EOD for 5 hours you even begin to learn too much about the people in your truck.

Over this past year my platoon has grown rather close. Granted that deep inside I think we all really hate one another but on the outside we get along rather well. We all love to make fun of how incompetent out leadership is and how our platoon leader couldn’t lead him self out of a paper bag. We are just like any other group of boys; we like to make fun of each other and just try to have a good time despite what it is we may be doing.

So here we are at the end of the fourth quarter, so let’s all get ready for a little bit of overtime.

All Inclusive Weekend

2007-09-21T12:58:00.000-07:00

Tired of work? Need a weekend away? Love to hunt? Well do I have the offer for you! Come on out for a two night stay at Patrol Base Love! That’s right you can get away from it all and spend a relaxing few days getting to know yourself better than ever all while on an unbelievable hunting trip. With such great accommodations and guides for such a great price you won’t believe it. Just read some of the great [awful] things we have to offer here and write down a few tips from previous guest and you will be on your way to a fabulous weekend hunting adventure. This is the only place where the hunted is being hunted too!

First off you will be set up with several experienced guides who will show you everything there is on this hunting trip. No where else can you hunt an animal so wild it just might kill you. You will be fully equipped with an arrangement of weaponry. We offer everything from a 9mm pistol to an Anti-Tank rocket to an actual tank! We offer full training on everything so you will be fully prepared once out in the wilderness.

Just wait until the guys at the office see these pictures!

Your heart will race as you begin your journey to a secluded cottage in the desert. You will pass famous hunting grounds and landmarks like; “The Sombrero” or the “Chicken Farms”, in the distance you will see the famous “Wang Chung Drive-In”. You will see plenty of wild game while on the trip but to bag a trophy you must be patient and wait for the right moment and conditions otherwise you could have your hunting license revoked and you could be sent back empty handed.

Once at the cottage you will be served the finest food there. Everything from frozen chicken nuggets and egg rolls to muffins and cookies. We the truly hardcore we even offer Military MRE’s. On a trip of this caliber you must truly appreciate your surroundings and you will cook your food from a historic [dilapidated] oven that has a famous signature taste. [Burning crumbs caked to the bottom]

Guest Tip: During my stay my plate was attacked by several kittens and I lost all six of my nuggets to them. Remember to never set your plate down and turn your back, you really are in the wild!

Guest Tip: Due to the historic nature of the oven you must be patient. Food takes around twenty minutes to fully cook and it is always a popular place so get there early. Also check the plug, it seems to have been spliced with an old cord possibly to a lamp and if the oven catches fire, don’t worry, it happens all the time! Its part of the experience and it helps add that authentic taste that can only be found there.

After a good meal of nuggets and egg rolls and a full day spent hunting through orange groves and blighted villages. You will head back for a few hours of great sleep in your cozy cottage. With the hand made beds [bunk beds!] you and your fellow guest will grow closer. The hunt can always begin without notice here so to ensure you are ready to go we require our guest to sleep fully clothed and no need to worry about getting tangled in the sheets, because we don’t have linens! That’s right just you and a bare mattress. Then for our repeat customers don’t have to worry about a change because here we have never changed the mattresses so next time you will feel right at home on the same mattress that so many guest have shared.

When the wilderness calls you will be sure to remember this one of a kind bathroom, facility. The quaint bathroom features one toilet and that’s it! No sink, no showers, no time wasted with all that city-boy stuff; we are here to hunt! To add that true feel to the hunt we have limited the running water to only when the power in the nearby city is on and the historic native plumbing won’t accommodate such luxuries like toilet paper so toss your used paper in an empty sandbag and hone your fire making skills and burn it.

Guest Tip: If the water is running you are good to go, if not you maybe waiting for a while. If you can’t make it you can grab a shovel and head to the other side of the berm. The water it truly wild, it is unfiltered and unsanitized. What ever you do not drink it or even touch it. Stick to the bottled water.

Guest Tip: While on my recent hunting trip there was a female there along with us. She was very unhappy with the bathroom facilities or any of the facilities for that matter. I strongly suggest that females not partake in this type of trip. This is only for a real mans-man.

There are count-less other great things that I could go on and on about. But I am pretty sure those few have sealed the deal and have you packing you bags already. It’s cozy and secluded, has everything you need to escape the office and all the problems at home. Hell, when you get back your old problems won’t even seem like problems! So if you need a weekend away or feel like shooting various weapons, just give us a call and we will get you on your way to the hunting trip of a lifetime!

Action Photo

2007-09-16T06:38:00.000-07:00

As I imagine you all have noticed my blogging has became less and less frequent. For that I offer no real excuse. I just don’t have much to write about these days. The new has worn off this place, things just aren’t as exciting [To me] and I am just really busy with my fantasy football teams too.

For my lack of writing I offer restitution in the form of pictures of myself and some of the boys doing what we do best, working, laughing and sleeping. I can only imagine how much you all must miss my face so hopefully these pics will fill your hearts with joy. My goal for myself has always been to try and capture as much of this place on film as possible so when I am old and frail I will be able to better tell war stories to my grandchildren. There are about four of us in the platoon that always carry cameras with us. I have also amassed quite the photo collection while over here too. So maybe one lazy day if you ever care to see what this place is really like just ask and I will show you. As for now enjoy these for samples.

[Click To Enlarge]

Keeping a close on someone during a Small Kill Team mission.

My first day of school, 2007.

From "Tower 2" at Patrol Base Love.

Sometimes this is all the sleep you get...

Now Hiring

2007-09-04T05:43:00.000-07:00

There comes a point in everyone’s Army career were the must decide; “Should I stay in?” or “Should I get out?” I came to this point back when I was in Korea and I decided to stay with the Army for a few more years. I decided to stay in because the main reason I came in to the Army in the first place was to come over here [Iraq], fight the fight, see what I was made of and see just how I would react when bullets start ripping past my head.

So here I am today, 23 years old, a Sergeant in the United States Army, a Abrams Tank Gunner, a dismounted squad leader, and responsible for the lives of the soldiers that action on my commands. And on September 17th I will have completed four years of service to this great Army. I have now seen what I all I can do at the absolute worst of times. I know what its like to be shot at and blown up. I have seen rockets and RPG fired at me, mortars explode around me, I have seen hand grenades thrown in the streets as our patrols move through. I have been pinned down by machine gun fine and I seen fellow soldiers take their last breathes. I have done and seen everything I wanted to and much more than I ever dreamed I would.

The question now is; “Do I want to get out?” I don’t really remember what it is like to be out in the civilian world. It seems so odd and kind of scary. Can I adjust to it? Can Holly and I spend that much time together and not go crazy? The main thing is that both Holly and I really want to go back to school and get our degrees. She wants to be settled in a place where she can go to school and not have to worry about moving or about me leaving and coming back over here for another 14 months. I want to get out and just start a new life free of the Army. I have “checked all the blocks” on my list of things to do in the Army and when I came into this I never intended it to become a career. But then again I never thought I would be this good at it.

After hours and hours and days and days of discussing all this I think I have come to a decision. I am getting out. I am hanging it up. I am going back to school, and I am going to become a normal member or society.

As it stands right now, our plan will be to move back to the great state of Oklahoma, and start taking classes. We are both going to try to scrap by and work our asses off not only in school but at our part-time jobs as well. I think that will be the hardest thing for us. Granted the Army pay isn't exactly great, but going from a full time salary with full medical and dental benefits and life insurance to well, very little will be quite the wallet shock. But I believe if we work hard enough for the next few years then we can get through school pretty quickly and be better off in the long run.

So I guess that’s it. Come July 26th, 2008 I will no longer be a part of the Army. However, if for some reason, if civilian life just isn’t working out, the Army will always be hiring.

The Grind

2007-08-30T05:00:00.000-07:00

The wheels of war continue to grind on. I am now back here on the depressing piece of real estate that we call a FOB. Everything is the same here for the most part. Still smells the same [awful], still looks the same [hellish], and still feels the same [prison-ish]. For the most part the past month up here was not too exciting. My platoon detained several bad guys, fought the fight and are still alive to tell the tale. The boys did well.

As the guys we fight with come closer and closer to being replaced the fight outside the wire doesn’t let up on them. We lost two guys just the other day. Good guys that I had the pleasure of knowing for a brief few months. They were killed fighting, guns blazing, fighting like soldiers. They were fortunate in a way. The died fighting like soldiers, fighting and enemy face to face and not by some cowardly, Koran hugging waste of life hiding behind a building blowing up a roadside bomb on them. I know its no easier for their families but as fellow soldiers it comforts us in a way knowing that the fought until the end and we will all miss them.

Their killers eventually received the same fate but brought in a series of 500 pound “smart” bombs sent with love from the Air Force and a team of it’s F-16’s as they screamed across the sky. The terrorist were killed along with their terrorist breeding wives and their future terrorist children. It is unfortunate that the children got caught up in the mix of the family’s poor decisions, but at this point in my life, I could not care less.

It’s the last day of August. If things would have never changed I would be a short 31 days away from a much cherished return home. But with an additional few months slapped on we are only now rounding third base headed for home plate. Just like the obedient little soldiers we are; we will fight on.

As for me it is back to work, back to the fight, back to the heat, the sand, and all the other luxuries we have here. By now most of you all can surely tell that I am burned out, despite my month long reprieve, I am burned out. But there is no need to fear my friends; I am still on top of my game. But as for now it’s back to The Grind.

What A Joke

2007-08-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

Through out Iraq the military has these huge “Logistical Supply Areas” or LSA’s. These big super FOB’s are usually on old Iraqi Air Force Bases that we have conquered, rebuilt and now operate. They have air traffic of all types, Air Force, Navy, Planes, Jets, Helicopters, FedEx and even some of Cheney’s buddies from Halliburton, going in and out all hours of the day much like DFW back in the good old USA. These bases house tens of thousands of Soldiers, Airmen and Marines and twice as many civilian contractors. All these people perform various tasks that are often times vital to the war effort. But as I spend more time here at LSA Anaconda on my little vacation of sorts I have started to notice that a lot of the people here are doing so very little work that there is no need for them over here. They are simply stealing a paycheck. Now I know it’s unfair to ridicule the Air Force and Navy for never leaving the base, they all signed up to perform technical jobs on a base. For most cases they are exempt from my distain. They are technical support and they are useful where they are.

The Army Reserve and National Guard soldiers on this LSA and even the Active Army soldiers here however disgust me. Some of them do have a useful and necessary job here on the LSA, many are helicopter mechanics and personnel that help keep the birds in the air and in the fight. But once again many of these soldiers here on the LSA don’t work but a few hours a day, and if you are here on a Sunday, you would think that the war had ended. No one works! These poor pitiful pukes get a freaking day off from their cushy office jobs so the can “relax” and barbeque and go to the pool. Not to mention the dance club atmosphere you can find at “Latin Night” and “Hip-Hop Night” at the massive Rec. Center. The noise probably drowns out the sound of the MedEvac birds bringing a wounded soldier who was actually SERVING his country and in the fight, not salsa dancing with some female from the Florida National Guard.

Once upon a time this place use to get mortared pretty often they even had the frequent rocket barrage as well. I have been here for a week now and this place has had a fair amount of “mortar attacks” but when a place this massive gets hit you don’t even notice. These kids need to spend a night at the Patrol Base and let a few rounds land a few feet outside their door. Now that is a mortar attack.

I guess there really is not a point to this story. I just wanted to express my distain for the majority of the people and practices here on this LSA. My conclusion is that here at the LSA 1 and 6 soldiers plays a vital and useful roll in the ongoing operations outside the wire. The other 5, they are stealing a paycheck.

But as the saying goes, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” and I can’t beat them, so during my time attending this course on a piece of equipment that will be more useful than a dozen of these “tools”. I will just have to join them. I will join them at the pool as I work on my tan. At the movie theater so I can see Oceans 13 for the third time and at Pizza Hut where I can listen to them whine about how they are out of ham. Then at Karaoke night at the Coffee House where we can all sing our favorite hits. I’ll join them here; for now. But I guarantee that won’t join me kicking in the door of an Al-Qaida hideout once I get back on the line next week.

School Is Cool

2007-08-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

So as the dog days of summer drag on for all of us, I will be doing something new. For the next few weeks I am at the Disneyland of FOB's in Iraq for a class on some big stupid sight.

So in between this class I can be found at either the in-door or outdoor pool, either of the Wla-Mart size PX's, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, Popeyes, Green Beans Coffee House one of the massive very nice gym or the movies theater watching the latest movies, for free. Just know that where ever you do find me I will be happy.

So the blogs will be rare but use this time to go back through the archives and re-read some favorites...

Take care and relax... I know I will be.

Attention To Orders

2007-07-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

“Attention to Orders:

The President of the United States hereby awards SGT. "Jacob" the Army’s Purple Heart Medal for injuries sustained during combat operations on 05 January 2007.

During a combat patrol SGT. "Jacob" was the gunner on the lead humvee when it was hit by a roadside bomb. The blast sent shrapnel and debris into SGT. Jaocb's face, knocking him unconscious. After being rendered unconscious for over 90 seconds, SGT. Jacob re-manned his weapon and began laying deliberate and suppressive fire to the enemy detouring any further enemy attacks.

SGT. Jacob’s actions adhere to the Army values and show great merit and honor not only to himself but to his unit and his country.”

This afternoon during an awards ceremony I was awarded the Purple Heart, if you couldn’t figure that out. That’s how the award was read aloud to the battalion as the Brigade Commander pinned the medal on my chest.

It is an awesome feeling. It is not an award anyone ever sets out to get, it just happens. It’s to often the awardees are awarded this after their death, or it is given to them in a hospital bed back in the states. I was lucky; I was able to stand on my own two feet in front of the battalion I fight with daily. All of this makes you proud to serve.

Being awarded the Purple Heart by the Colonel.

Shaking hands with the Sergeant Major.

Never have to pay for another parking meter or car tag again!

Foreshadowing

2007-07-23T15:21:00.000-07:00

Foreshadowing. My previous post was just that. I should have knocked on wood or something superstitious like that. For the lazy that don’t want to scroll down to remember what I had written about last time I will refresh your memories. Simply put, it was about how we often get the call to go “REDCON 1” which means grab all our gear, get on the vehicles and roll out to save the world or fight some fight somewhere.

Now that we are all on the level, here is the story.

First off I was sound asleep as usual. I was so asleep I didn’t hear the 3 mortar rounds impact about an hour before we got the call to go to “REDCON 1”. This time the eye in the sky had seen four masked men “hi-jack” and large cargo truck and kidnap the three people in the truck. Two of the men were thrown in the trunk of a black sedan and the other was put back in the truck. All the kidnappers were masked and armed with AK-47’s and one was wielding a large knife. Imagine that if you will; you are pulled out of your truck at gun point beaten severally and then shoved in the trunk of a black car in Iraq at 3PM. Not my idea of a good time.

This was all seen by an Air Force “Air Scan” team or "the eye in the sky", that I still have no idea where or who or what they are. They are just a voice on the radio telling us bad things are happening and that we must go. It’s kinda weird.

We roll out pretty quick and head north. To the rescue! As we make our way up there Air Scan watches the sedan and the large stolen truck leave the scene and head down some back roads. The sedan goes one way and the large truck going another. The kidnappers have no idea they are being watched this entire time. The same time the sedan gets to one house the truck arrives at another. Three gunmen from the sedan hop out and rush in the house. Moments later I imagine they see/hear us on the horizon blazing through the fields to their house and one guy runs out pops the trunk and out pop the two hostage and they take off in a mad dash for their lives. He has his rifle with him but never shoots them, don’t know why, but I am glad he didn’t.

Minutes after we arrive at the house where the sedan and the three gunmen ran inside, with their weapons. At this time we are given clearance to destroy the house with the tanks. This would have been an easy solution to the problem. One well placed shot would dismember the gunmen inside easily and blow out most of the walls of their little house. As I move my dismounted team closer to the house we notice that there are women and children looking out a window in a small hut behind the house. Therefore making the choice or leveling the house not such a good one. So just like an episode of COPS there we are at a stand off with the gunmen. As far as we know there are three of them, they are armed and possibly willing to fight. Up against us, The Good Guys, with two Kiowa helicopters, two M1A2 Abrams tanks, two M1114 Up-Armored Humvees and me and my squad of 4 dismounts. (A “dismount” is a soldier on the ground, on foot, with a rifle and the soldiers to his left and right.)

Obviously the odds were against them and they knew it too. We got the interrupter on the loud speaker and after a few convincing words about how they will turned into a red mist once the tank rounds rip apart the house and that there is no where for them to run because the helicopter will hunt them down and destroy them and a few other choice words about there mothers, the doors opens and out comes each kidnapper, one by one. Each one having to lift their shirts and turn around to make sure they aren’t strapped with explosives. This is where I left the scene. I left two members of my team there with the Iraqi Army soldiers that were moving in to clear the house and a few more of our guys that moved up in the trucks now that it was clear.

With all that secured at the house “Josh” another member of the team, and I head off in search of the two released hostages. Not to detain them or for anything bad, but to make sure that they were not wounded or injured and to get their sworn statements saying; “Yes these men put a gun in face, beat me senseless and shoved me in the trunk of a car.” We push out looking trough the fields for the men. We make it about a half mile out and come of a small berm and in the distance we can see the two men laying on hill waving a white flag they had made from one of their T-shirts.

When we come up to them there on the hill and they are ecstatic, rambling all kinds of Arabic and making gestures of thanks, doing this kissing their hand motion that’s a way of saying “thank you so much”. They are dripping in sweat and look really beaten. We know we need to get them and ourselves to a secured area and when we motion that we all need to all walk back to the trucks they both point to their feet and shake thiers heads.

In their barefooted mad dash for their lives they managed to tear the skin of their toes and heels. The rocks and dirt that had been baking in the 120 degree sunlight all day ripped and burned causing blisters on the skin that was left. The younger man was able to limp along with the help of a shoulder from Josh; who is a small guy, not short, just the type that might blow over on a windy day, which made it funny to watch. The other man was not able to walk or even stand for that matter and his return was now left up to me. Taking all this in; I was left with no other real option.

I hand Josh my rifle, and me, and with all my gear on, in the 120 joyful degrees of an Iraqi afternoon, I lift the man over my shoulders in what’s called a “fireman’s carry” and start walking back a little over a half mile to relative safety. Once you get someone up on you shoulders like that and get moving forward you don’t want to stop, you just want to get them there and get them off you. Especially if they smell like he did, but he is an Iraqi and he had been stuffed in a trunk and then did a mile long dash for his life, I would smell pretty ripe too.

From there we move to the next house and call the last kidnapper out and he gives up just like the others. In the back we find the kidnapped man tied up and barricaded in a chicken coup, he was beaten a little but was in better condition and was even working his way untied and planning a dash of his own

The kidnapped men are bandaged up by “Doc” the kidnappers are detained and as we are blindfolding them and putting them in the trucks we let them watch as we burned their black sedan to the ground and riddle it with bullet holes in their front yards that they won’t be seeing for many, many years.

Justice served.

Let's Roll

2007-07-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

Just like every other little boy growing up I thought it would be really cool to be a fireman. To slide down the pole pull on my gear and race off to save the world or whatever kitten might be stuck in a tree.

While doing our usual rotations out at the patrol base the action has it’s high and low points. That can actually be said about this whole tour. It is never ending series of moments of the most agonizing boredom followed by absolute unfiltered chaos. You will be sound asleep in a bunk at the patrol base when someone swings open the doors and says the almost famous line of “Lets Roll! We are going REDCON1!”

[Military Jargon Training: REDCON is the Army way of deciding what kind of waiting posture you will be waiting at. There are different degrees of REDCON. You have one, then one point five, then two and so on. I don’t know what the all are. I just know 1 and 1.5. “One point five” not “one and a half” is for everyone to be standing by their vehicles (which are off) with their gear on or right there ready. REDCON 1 is just a step up from that, everything on, everyone in the vehicle, vehicle running, waiting to move. Class complete. You get an A.]

When this happens it is followed by everyone in the CHU’s scrambling to get their gear, lace up their boots, wipe the sleep from their eyes and head out the door and on to the vehicles.

We have to go REDCON 1 for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes a helicopter will see something they want us to check out, sometime a helicopter will “light someone up” and all we are doing is picking up body parts or in the worse case scenario’s a patrol passing through will take a catastrophic hit from an IED and we will head out to provide support. It’s always something different; it’s always exciting, half the time you don’t even know why you are running around getting ready until you are headed out the gate. I wouldn’t say it’s something that I look forward too, but it is not something I cringe at the thought of either. Its part of my job and it’s as close as being a fireman and racing off the save a kitten in a tree as I will get.

Comfortably Numb

2007-07-12T18:38:00.000-07:00

After 10 months over here things that would normally make you either cry in fear or stand there is awe don’t really do it for you anymore. The “Shock and Awe” wears off and then it’s just another day at the office. This whole “numbness” that falls on everyone has always made me laugh over here. I imagine it happens in everyone at their job or in everyday life; things just don’t shock or amaze you in some way anymore.

In my last rotation out at the Patrol Base (the past few days) there were a few different moments that just made me stop and laugh after it was over with. The first one wasn’t really any big deal, it was about 4am and we were making security improvements to the Patrol Base. On average it’s about 120 degrees during the day here so 4am is an optimal time for manual labor. So there we all are (my platoon) out on the walls stringing out new rolls of razor wire across the walls and berms. As we are all going about are little task we here several large “Booms” off in the distance and hear this odd roar sound as well. We all look up in the sky and see what we believe to be an Air Force AC-130 lighting up the night and laying waste to something. No idea what they were attacking, just one of many things I never thought I would see in my life. Fortifying a Patrol Base in Iraq while and the Air Force lay waste to somebody or thing or a lot of somebodys and things just about a mile from us. But it did happen; and we just shrugged our shoulders said that was cool and went back to work.

The next was while I was on guard at the Patrol Base. It was pretty quite around 7pm; just the rumble of the generator running in the background when the tower guards and I all heard the all to familiar sound of a mortar round being launched. And of course, it was being sent our way. After the launch you have about 2 to 4 seconds of this awkward and very uncomfortable feeling of “Where the hell is this thing going to land….” Then WHAM! It slams into the ground just a few hundred feet outside the wall and you can hear the shrapnel make this weird kazoo like sound as it rips through the air. That’s not where it gets really intense. The patrol base is, just like every other one, very small. So it’s a hard target to hit, therefore making the terrorist launching the rounds to have to fire multiple rounds and “walk them in” on us. We hear another launch…3, 2, 1… WHAM! Closer this time, just a hundred meters outside the wall. In my head I am thinking, “SOB’s are going to walk them right in on us.” Then… silence. Just two rounds today that’s all this time. Which is good, they were on target pretty well. There isn’t any real immediate counter fire we can do. Mortars are launched to far away for us to see them. They fire them from behind hills or in the orchards then they tear out of there before we can make it even half way to them.

The one big equalizer in this battle are helicopters (OH-58D & AH-64) and today we just so happened to have some OH-58D Kiowa’s just 60 seconds out and I was able to guide them in the direction to where we believed the rounds we launching from and just like we thought, a blue bongo with two individuals in the back were flying down the road with a disassembled mortar tube in the bed of the truck.

Thanks to the Kiowa’s; they won’t be launching any more rounds our way.

But once again I was left thinking; “There is a football sized bomb being launched through the air at me… and I wonder if my pizza is done cooking…?”

Oh, can’t forget. I caught a Hedgehog also and it was the coolest thing ever.

"Never Forget"

2007-07-09T12:00:00.001-07:00

Funerals are never fun. They make you reflect on your own life just a little bit. Make you look at just where you are in the world and where you want to be. For most people however there attendance of a funeral is rare. When deployed over here however it is an all too often occurrence. For me, in the 9 months I have been here, I have attended 17. Yes, 1- 7.

The battalion that I am attached to over here in Iraq lost another soldier just he other day. It hurts when we lose a guy. There aren’t a whole lot of us here on the FOB so whether you knew him well or not, you will definitely recognize his face. The guys I am with got here two months before my unit did putting them deep in the fourth quarter with just a little less than two months to go. Two months to go and he got hit. It’s awful.

We had his “Hero Ceremony” for him today. We all formed up in two rows with room in the middle for the stretcher team to carry the body bag draped in an American flag to the awaiting Blackhawk’s to carry him away. We all saluted as the body passed by and quietly said our goodbyes, dropped our salutes and filed to the right continuing on with the fight. The gears of war just keep grinding away, never stopping for much of anything.

I didn’t know the kid, I had seen his face but that was about it. Still doesn’t change the fact that he was the seventeenth soldier lost from the FOB. I have lost six from my company alone. A company that only consisted of 84 soldiers to begin with and 12 of them never leave the FOB. Hopefully this will be the last time I ever write a blog like this.

Hot Getting Hotter

2007-07-01T11:17:00.000-07:00

So the “Dog Days of Summer” are upon us I assume. Everyday over here is the same thing; clear skies, highs in the 120’s and a sand blasting from the south called a “breeze”.

There is refuge however. At least there use to be, up until yesterday. Back in the day (which was like 3 days ago.) when we were back on the FOB the AC’s ran full blast and every electronic device was on and I could often be found in my sleeping bag because it was so cold in my CHU.

Then something terrible happened. Yesterday one of the main generators on the FOB went down and I am afraid it is KIA. So now the FOB is running on one generator and it’s maxed out and oh what a mess that might be if she crashes.

So in conclusion this all means that the AC have to be set no lower than 26 degrees Celsius and the washer and dryers can not be used and all lights must be off during the day. War is hell my friends and Hell is hot.

Round 2

2007-06-27T00:53:00.000-07:00

The short story of how I got blown up again goes like this. We were traveling north to go secure the perimeter of a village so a few Blackhawk helicopters could come in and land and drop off our first platoon so they could go through and kill or capture all the bad guys that hide out there. The timeline was tight so we were moving a little faster than normal up the highway. We had just passed the north edge of one of the cities in our area which is an area that often has IED’s placed there. These areas are known as “Tier One Sites”.

I am assisting a new member of our platoon with navigating and identifying IED’s and such from the lead tank. Just kind of being a tour guide in a way. We are in a tank (Wikipedia: M1A2 Abrams) and I am in the loaders hatch. This means that I am one of the two guys on the top of the tank with there heads out. We pass a large blast hole and as we do I think I see something so I stand up higher to get a better look. Yes, as ridiculous as it sounds that’s how you do it. Look in a hold and decide that; “yes there is a bomb” or “no, it’s clear”. The blast hole was clear and right as I turn around I go back to looking at the shoulder of the road for discrepancies or anything that looks tampered where a roadside bomb might be hiding. It goes off.

At that point is when the shoulder of the road just explodes in front of us. The blast is ridiculously loud and the concussion off the explosion hits me so hard that it knocks my legs out from under me and I tumble like a Plinko chip on the Price is Right to the floor of the tank.

The best part about being in a tank is that the height that we ride at often keeps the shrapnel from getting to you. But the blast still hits like a head on collision and that’s what I caught the brunt of. No shrapnel just dirt and scorching hot air.

We never did find the SOB, that did it. We couldn’t stop and raid the entire town like I had wanted. We had a mission that we needed to complete and the birds were inbound. I have plenty of time left over here and this group of guys, usually 3 to 4 work in an IED team, has a special place on the top of my list.

The only injuries I received weren’t from shrapnel but from the fall. I bruised my spine pretty good just above my tailbone and it looks and feels like I got hit with a baseball bat. There is also a pretty good cut on my shin. I have no idea what my shin hit but it did and there is now a golf ball underneath my cut.

Don’t despair over me folks, I am fine. Just a little bit pissed. Just a few hours earlier that day we had found another IED and given the make up of it and the one that I was hit with I am pretty sure that it was done by the same guys. I took some video of the IED we found earlier that day and I have added a still frame from it. This blast was most likely the same as the one that hit me. Take care, and keep sending prayers my way. They are working.

Two 130mm Artillery Rounds

My shin.

Stay Tuned

2007-06-24T22:34:00.000-07:00

Its 0843 Monday morning here. A lot has happened since I last wrote. I got my Taco Bell, and I got my Pizza Hut. We caught some bad guys and at 0300 this morning I got my ass rocked by another roadside bomb. I’m fine though. There is no need to worry. Just battered and severely bruised but I will soldier on.

I hope your Monday starts out better than mine did. If you see Holly or my Mom give them a hug, they worry just like I am sure you all do. But I think news like this hits them harder than the two 130mm rounds from 6 feet away hit me. Give ‘em a hug and check back in tomorrow and hopefully I will get some time to write.

As for now I must go get checked by the PA and the Physical Therapist on the FOB. Then maybe I can squeeze in a few hours rest before I roll out again this evening.

Love you all,
JAKE

Rule Number One

2007-06-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

Tyler Durden once said, “The first rule of Fight Club is you never talk about Fight Club”.

There are a lot of “Number One” rules in life or “Golden Rules” or whatever you want to call them. I once read an article by a reporter for CBS, whose name I can’t seem to remember but anyway, in his article about reporting from war zones across the world he said that the number one rule is to “always have a camera with you”. No matter what, whenever you think things will be calm or that you wont be needing it, you undoubtedly will be kicking yourself as you watch something amazing or horrific happen before of your eyes and there you will stand with no way to capture it and share it with the world.

For however many months I have been fighting over here with these idiots, I have always done a very good job of always carrying my camera with me and I have been able to snap some pretty good pictures and get some fairly good footage. I also have one rule for myself, never film during a fire fight; Ever. That’s what CNN is for.

Despite our best efforts there will most always be that one time when we break the “number one” rule and we are left kicking our self for it. That day for me was yesterday.

During our usual rotation out at the Patrol Base we were called out to investigate some vehicles that had been spotted with passengers outside wearing ski mask and carrying weapons. Air support comes on the scene and just like a high speed chase in Los Angeles there was no where for these fools to run. They drove around in circles trying to act cool and innocent, they got out went in a house changed clothes got in separate cars and tried to split up and get away. Unfortunately for them my platoon equipped with two tanks and two gun trucks was arriving on the scene just then and there lives of death and destruction was quickly coming to an end.

We knew they were armed heavily so we were expecting a fight. Like a hostage negotiation scene from a movie the interrupter was on the bullhorn calling out for them to exit the vehicles with their hands empty and raised or be met by a hail of gunfire. For a tense moment the demands went unanswered. That’s when I fired a few well placed shots in the dirt near and their windows and they realized the gig was up and it was time for them to surrender.

They came out hands up and were met by myself a few fellow dismounts on the ground where we began searching them and their cars. The fighters were all unarmed when they exited the cars but once in the cars we found several AK-47’s, a 9mm Pistol, a PKC automatic machine gun all fully loaded and several large knives and a hand grenade.

But this isn’t when I wish I had my camera which I left sitting next to a note that said “DON’T FORGET CAMERA” on a hot pink sticky note back at my CHU. After cuffing all the bad guys, getting all their weapons and searching for anything else that could be useful we walked them back a safe distance turned them around to face their expensive (Iraq standards that is.) Toyota Crowns (A V-6 Toyota Camry) that had been imported to them. At that time my roommate threw an incendiary grenade into the seats of the cars setting them all a blaze. And while he sprinted back to our vehicles we began spraying down their cars with a full barrage of bullets. Every machine gun we had riddled holes through their cars and the bad guys just sat there and watched as it all burned away.

Even for those of you out there who aren’t gun enthusiast, there are few better ways to relieve some stress than shooting up a insurgents car with a fully automatic weapon.

And as we rode back to the Patrol Base with the sun setting and thick black smoke billowing into the sky from three burning cars, I thought to myself, I am such an idiot for forgetting my camera.

[Insert really cool picture here]

If I drank...

2007-06-16T04:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, you know its been a slow day over in Iraq when I start posting random messages from friends on MySpace.com but once I read this I felt it was my duty as a citizen of the great state of Oklahoma and a friend to many alcoholic beverage consumers to post this for your reading and drinking pleasure.

Now for some of you out there that don’t know the great Meteorologist Gary England then this will not make any sense to you and for that I am terribly sorry. But for those of you out there that are lucky enough to live in "Tornado Alley" and get to listen to grown men freak out on live television about the size of clouds or the number of mobile homes being hurled through the air then this is especially for you. Pass it along to your friends; prepare for bad weather, get a 30 pack of “Stones” and Happy Drinking.

"The Gary England Drinking Game"

"We'll keep you advised"

Game Setup:
A few friends that enjoy drinking in large amounts.
A TV tuned to News 9 home of Gary England
An ample supply of 12oz Adult Beverages of choice.
And always a designated driver. Safety first kids!

How to Play:
It’s quite simple, follow the prescribed rules below and pay close attention to the television. Any time that a certain objective is met drink the pre assigned amount. Continue until the weather clears, you run out of drinks or you must flee for safety.

WARNING:
It is not advised to continue playing the game if you are in immediate or direct danger of the ensuing storms. It is also not advised to drink until you pass out rendering you unable to flee for safety.

Pregame:
1. Everyone selects a storm chaser other than Val Caster. Every time Gary talks to your storm chaser, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your storm chaser. Take four drinks if your storm chaser says "tornado on the ground."

2. Everyone selects a county other than Pottawatomie County. Every time Gary mentions your county, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your county. Take four drinks if a tornado touches down in your county.

One drink:
1. Take one drink every time Gary says the following:
"Hook echo" "Updraft" "Metro" "Doppler radar" "Wall cloud" "Ranger 9" "Underground" "Mobile home"

2. When Gary gives a list of counties, take one drink for every county in the list.

3. Take one drink every time Gary interrupts a program. Take one drink if Gary says "You're not missing any of [program name]." Take one drink when Gary says "We'll keep you advised."

Two drinks:
1. Take two drinks every time Gary says the following:
"Baseball-sized hail" "Waterloo Road" "Pottawatomie County" "Deer Creek High School"

2. Take two drinks every time Gary mentions the following towns:
Altus Burns Flat Dill City Gotebo Hydro Lookeba Meeker Mulhall Oktaha Olustee Shattuck Slaughterville Tryon Vici Waukomis Wayne (or Payne) Weleetka Wetumkah

3. Take two drinks every time Gary talks to Val Caster.

Three drinks:
1. Take three drinks if we see footage from Val Caster.

2. Take three drinks if we see footage from Pottawatomie County.

3. Take three drinks if Gary mentions the following:
"Immediate tornado precautions" "National Weather Service" "Mesocyclone" "Portable Radio" "Take shelter" "Tornado warning in effect until …"

Four drinks:
1. Take four drinks if Ranger 9 must land to refuel.

2. Take four drinks if Gary issues his own tornado warning, not recognized by the NWS or says the following:
"Will someone please answer that phone?" "Do you see power flashes?"

3. Take four drinks if a shirt-less tornado victim is interviewed.

Finish your drink:
1. Finish your drink if someone uses the word tornado as a verb or if Gary mentions the nearest cross streets to you.

2. If Gary says "We've lost Val," pour a little out for your homies and finish your drink.

I Miss Oklahoma

2007-06-15T12:16:00.000-07:00

So my good friend Tristan is a new resident to Tulsa and just shared this little tale with me and I knew that a few more of you would get a smile from it as well.

Tristan : "I was driving down Peoria two seconds ago, and drove by a Chinese guy dressed in a full Santa costume, riding a bicycle down the middle of the road with a sign on his back that said "Will Sing Naked For $1". I can't make this stuff up. Tulsa is growing on me already..."

Jake : "That is classic I am putting that in my blog."

Tristan : "It caught me totally off-guard. I had to go around him."

The End

Hot Hot Heat

2007-06-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

So I thought you all might want to know a little more about what’s going on with me over here and it just so happened that my good friend Blake sent me a few the other day. So here you go Blake and fellow readers.

1. What are the high and low temperatures over there for a normal day? How hot does it get in the tanks?

Well, for a normal day in the month of June the highs are up to around 115 and at night it dips down to around 80. Eighty might not seem that cool but coming down from 115 its great. There is a nice breeze during the night and it feels great to just stand there and cool off. The breeze during the day however feels more like a hair dryer blowing in your face. Inside the tanks it gets dreadfully hot. The driver has a little fan that blows on him and the two guys up top with their heads out get some of the breeze and but they get baked by the sun. I am a gunner so I am stuffed down inside out of the breeze and fresh air. There are times that the heat gets so bad you start to feel sick and I have to swap out and get some fresh air and cool off in the 115 degree heat outside. I don’t have a thermometer but I will find out just how hot it is getting in there, if they make any that go that high that is.

2. When does it start to "cool off" (August? September? Never?)

I got here in October of last year and it was starting to cool off pretty good. The highs were around the 90’s and soon into November the temps really fell off and the winter was much like Oklahoma’s but shorter. It actually did snow on my birthday last year so that was pretty cool. Apart from for the fact that the wind was blowing about 20mph and I was up in a guard tower exposed to it all.

3. Do the soldiers ever do physical exercise; running on treadmills, lifting weights, etc, or do you get all the exercise you need from your daily missions?

We get plenty of exercise from the missions and such but we do have a gym here on the FOB that’s not too bad. It’s all primarily donated equipment from gyms and schools from across the country. It’s got everything we need but it often gets very crowded in which it gets really hot and despite the best attempt of the AC units. I enjoying going because it gives me something to do, something to get me out of my CHU and off the internet and a good way to get rid of some of the frustration that automatics weapons can’t.

4. On that note, how many pounds of gear are you carrying on an average mission?

It really varies quite a bit. The mission will always dictate what we will need. Things such as are we taking tanks, trucks or are we being air inserted from helicopters. When we are on the tanks we just wear a striped down version of our body armor, without all the pouches and bags attached to it. When we roll in the trucks then you have all the excess stuff attached to you because the guys in the trucks are the ones that get on the ground and do all the leg work while the tanks over watch and block off the area. When we do Air Assault missions we bring it all, you have all you pouches and ammo, water and gear. You never know what you might need out there so prepare for the worse. You can’t run back to the truck to grab something in those cases. It also varies on what part of the mission we may be doing, some guys have to carry spike strips to keep fleeing cars from getting away and some guys carry rockets launchers to stop the car if they are getting away.
As far as pounds of gear, a stripped down body armor weights something like 30 pounds. Then you add additional side plates putting it near 36. Once you have your fully loaded magazines and other miscellaneous stuff like a hand grenade or smoke grenade or radio it’s probably about another 10 pounds. Then put on a Camelback hydration system that holds about three liters when it’s full that adds another few pounds. Then for Air Assaults you also have an assault pack with all sorts of random necessities in there totally about 25 to 20 pounds. So all and all after all the arithmetic it is really quite heavy but after time you just get use to it. I always like to say that my grandfather was a Marine in World War Two and he didn’t have all this and he was just fine so why do I need it. But really I would never roll out the gate with out it.

5. How much water do you drink a day?

If it’s a day that we are out on a mission I drink around four or five 32oz bottles. On top of that I usually have a few bottles of Gatorade to mix it up a little. And of course you have to account for energy drink consumption which is normally two Red Bulls or Monsters and about 6 Rip-Its. I don’t drink nearly enough water as I should but I have yet to fall out. (Slang for; pass-out, give up, not make it). I also eat somewhat healthy and I am such a fine physical specimen I can handle these things you know.

So there you all go, consider yourselves educated in Summer Time Warfare in Iraq. If you have anymore questions just ask and I would love to answer to the best of my abilities.

Summer School

2007-06-13T10:51:00.000-07:00

So while I was home I had a number of people say that they always want to leave a comment on here but they just don’t know how. Now maybe they were just trying to make small talk or they really just didn’t know. Well class, get out a sheet of paper and a number two pencil and take good notes.

First read the blog.
Next determine if you would like to leave a comment and what your mother would think if she heard you use such language.
If you don’t want to leave a comment, then you can stop here. You are done, goodbye.
Now if you are kind enough to send your salutations you will click on the little word at the bottom of the blog entry that says “Comments”
There will now appear an empty box and that is where you will type your witty jokes or sweet minded endearments.
Done? Alright, let’s continue!
With you comment typed and edited to ensure there are no last names, social security numbers or embarrassing photos you will need to complete the word verification. Simply type the series of letter that appear above. I really cant break it down much easier than that for you.
Now its time to inform all the readers out there in this thing they call a “blogoshpere” just who you are.
If you DO have a blog of your own, just sign in and it will take care of everything from there.
For the 99.36% that DO NOT have a blog and do feel like leaving your first name or clever nickname, click Other.
It will then allow you to type your new clever name and your website. If you don’t have a website, then leave it blank. If you do or would like to put an appropriate site on there do so. I highly recommend Homestarrunner.com
If you are leaving lines of anger and spite then you can choose the “Anonymous” option and let the mystery begin!

I hope this has been an informative and productive class for everyone. I will also be teaching a Self Defense class every Monday at 10am at the public library. Remember your mouth piece I will no longer share mine.

Its 5pm Wednesday here (Iraqi Standard Time) [I just made that up] and I have been awake since Monday. [That is a true statement.] This post is much funnier at this stage of delirium; at least it is to me. Goodnight everyone.

Two Clicks South of Hell

2007-06-06T03:54:00.000-07:00

Just south of Hell you will find a little place on the map known as Iraq and during the summer the heat waves blur the lines of just where Hell ends and where Iraq begins. Violence picks up as the heat does and the heat just beats you down a little more. Of course the desert is going to be hot and I fully understood that coming into this place. I also thought; “It gets hot in Oklahoma and Texas so can it really be that much worse over here?” I am an idiot. First of all it’s not even to the hottest part of the year and I am whining. But as for now its 113 in the shade and the “breeze” feels more like someone is walking in front of you with a blow dryer and throwing handfuls of sand in your face.

Really all I can say is that it’s miserable already. Even the flies in this country can’t tolerate the sun so they hide in the shade making every refuge from the sun just a bit less uncomfortable. I’m not just talking about the one or two annoying flies that buzz by like in the states. I am talking forty or fifty that are all over you, which is probably due to the fact I have been sweating for the past 36 hours and smell just better than the north end of a south bound moose. It’s ridiculously annoying and I really just wish I was laid out on the couch soaking up some A/C and mindlessly channel surfing.

Rest And Recuperation - Part II

2007-06-03T08:12:00.000-07:00

After the whirlwind that was my homecoming at DFW, it all just kept getting better once we made it home. From the midnight call to go meet everyone out at Louie’s on Campus, to all the friends and family and everyone that showed up Saturday night. It was great not only seeing everyone but to see everyone in one place having a good time was even better.

From there we headed north and Holly was finally able to meet the rest of my family. Being Mothers Day it was also great day to spend some time with my Mother. I think she liked the gift of her boy coming home and having all her kids together again. It was a great day and there was great weather to make it all that much better. It was great to see my family and to just begin to try and thank them for all the things that they have done since I have been over here. It was a quick little trip but we got it done, and I can not wait to see them all again when I get home.

With all the family and friends seen it was time for Holly and I to take some time to ourselves so for some real relaxation what better place than Las Vegas. In the past 23 years of my life I have heard many stories about just amazing and extravagant Vegas is but until you see it in person you have just no idea. Stories, pictures, the Travel Channel just cant do Vegas justice. We stayed there for 3 nights and every night there was like a Friday. It was wild. Now, I have never been a person to just have the best luck. So the odds were against me in Vegas. But despite the fact that I was losing money left and right I was still having a great time. Luckily, Holly was having pretty good luck for the first few days to help make up for my losing. The second day some friends drove out from California so see us for the day which was awesome seeing as we haven’t seen them in nearly a year. Justin had been to Vegas quite a few times since moving out to California and for some reason I decided to listen to him when he said we should go play Texas Hold’em there at Caesar’s Palace. So we did, and at first I was up big, but that was slowly dwindled down and like a meth addict I just couldn’t quit and after having nearly 500 dollars in chips I left the table with a little over a hundred. So lesson learned; peer pressure in Vegas is a very bad thing. But still, I was having a great time. But that sums up my gambling in Vegas, I had fun, but I lost a lot. But it’s Vegas so; who cares?

Holly and I really did our best to see all the sights we could. But even a week in Vegas just wouldn’t be enough time I am afraid. We rode the coaster at New York – New York, saw the Shark Aquarium at Mandalay Bay a Cirque Du Soleil show at NY-NY and the water show at the Bellagio and after seven months in Iraq, we ate like royalty. No matter where you eat the food is great. But there is one restaurant in the Venetian that was highly recommended by my Aunt and Uncle by the name, Delmonico Steakhouse. Hands down, Best. Meal. Ever. That’s all I can really say about it. It was just awesome. So next time you visit, before you lose all your money, go there.

All and all Vegas was more than I could ever have expected. My entire leave was way better than I could have ever imagined. It was great to be able to see everyone, even if it was for just a short period of time. I was so happy I got to see everyone that I did. I can not thank you all for everything that you did for Holly and I while I was home. All the gifts and support really were way more than I ever expected and I am truly blessed to have such friends and family out there. You all really made my R&R great. Even my brothers “Labrador from hell”, Stella, even she wasn’t too big of a pain in the ass.

Rest and Recuperation – Part I

2007-06-01T17:39:00.000-07:00

I am back and boy, did I not miss this place. Things are still the same. It’s still hot; about 107 today in the shade. It still smells like dirt, exhaust and poor people and it still is a very dangerous place. I left here on May 5th, and since then I lost a good friend and former Lieutenant. By far the best LT I have ever had and was a true hard charging leader and it was an honor to get to work with him. Another good friend has lost his leg and another is in serious condition and is still in the balance as he recovers from his wounds. Three other soldiers from a platoon that is attached to my company and guys I have worked with on several missions were also killed just a few days ago. A lot has happened while I was gone; but how great it was to be gone.

Now that all the sad business has been discussed I would like to share with you just how great my time away from this place truly was. I honestly could not have asked for a better time at home, with my friends, with my family, with Holly, with everyone. I never realized just how much I missed everyone and just how great America is.

From the time I landed at DFW it was an awesome show of support. It started with the DFW Fire Department spraying their water cannons in a big arch over our plane as it pulled off the runway. Then as we moved off the plane and walked towards the US Customs area we passed the terminal were everyday people just waiting for their flights stood up and applauded and cheered for us and we made our way through. It was an awesome feeling for sure and the first of many goosebumps. After we got our leave paperwork stamped and cleared customs we made our way to the terminal where most soldiers would be boarding connecting flights but this where several soldiers and I met up with our very anxious families.

As I rounded the corner and came out of the hallway I was met face first by dozens and dozens of proud veterans, school kids, supporters and probably the best kiss ever from Holly. It was a complete blur of cheering people wanting to shake your hand, give you hugs, little bags of cookies and candy and support. It was so much I almost didn’t even see Holly and my family and Holly’s family waiting there. Never in my life could I have imagined such a awesome home coming.

After we left the airport everything was just perfect. The weather was beautiful and we were all able to sit down and enjoy and great All-American breakfast at none other than, IHOP.

Okay so now its time for you all to get back to work, your boss wouldn’t appreciate all the company time you spend reading my blog I imagine. I will type more about my great adventures soon. As for any of you that just might be sitting in the Dallas, Texas area with nothing better to do on any given morning there will always be troops coming home at Terminal D and trust me, they would love to shake your hand.

For Your Consideration

2007-05-03T08:20:00.000-07:00

Now I know there are many excited people out there that just can’t wait for me to get home. Trust me; none of you could be more excited than I am. But see there is this dirty rumor that some people are planning on being at the airport equipped with signs, streamers, flags, cheesy matching t-shirts and various noise apparatuses. Now, I know that these are signs of love and support and I do love the effort and the sincere caring of you all but I am the type of guy that hates, “Making a scene”. There will be a lot of soldiers getting off that flight; in fact the entire flight will be nothing but soldiers. I would really just prefer to give some hug and kisses and get out of there and start me leave.

So in conclusion I can not wait to see all your smiling faces and no signs, no streamers, no marching bands no silly string and no Shriners driving around in those little cars.

This message has been brought to you by “The Soldiers without Scenes” support group.

Help From The Sky - Part II

2007-04-28T04:57:00.000-07:00

After being here for seven months, “Delta Company”, has been very fortunate. Back in the fall last year we lost two soldiers to a suicide car bomb and then in January I was wounded from a roadside bomb. But since then our company has been very lucky. Granted we have had our share of losses, we have done what we needed to do and faired better then many other companies out here.

That was until 1700hrs (5pm) last night. At around dusk yesterday, 1st platoon, “Danger Platoon” was moving into hide positions to over watch the highway and hunt IED Teams that have been very active in the area. That is when their lead tank, Danger 1-3 stuck a massive IED, detonating it under the track on the right side engulfing the tank in a cloud of smoke and dust.

We have learned from the lessons of others that when there is one IED there is almost always another and no matter how bad you want to run to their rescue, you may just be running into more trouble. Seconds after the blast the rest of the platoon began to search the area for secondary attacks and to clear a path to the disabled tank that was several hundred meters from them.

As the rest of the crew crept safely towards the disabled tank the Tank Commander of the Danger 1-3 began to evaluate his crew. The loader had been blown out of the tank was laying on the top very dazed and suffering from a serious concussion and his foot was dangling in a “not normal” direction and appeared to be broken extremely bad. His gunner was alert but in serious pain. He was saying that his legs and feet hurt really badly and wasn’t going to be able to move on his own, but that he wasn’t bleeding and believes that they were broken badly from the blast that had raised the floor of the tank that had risen up like a loaf of bread in the oven. The driver of tank unconscious at first but came to moments later and only suffered a serious concussion. Which was extremely lucky considering he was the lowest and closest to the blast and a fuel tank next to him had been penetrated and was now spilling fuel. At that point the tank commander began to pull his wounded crew from the tank and prep them for the medic who was moving towards them in another vehicle. By the time the medic “Doc” was there the crew had been pulled out of the tank and the platoon could begin to prepare to evacuate them.

At this same time my platoon was at the FOB nearly 22 miles away and was being “Spun Up” to go and assist our fellow tankers. We moved quickly and were out the gate headed to the area to help secure and support them with whatever they needed. As we crossed the Tigris we were passed over head by two UH-60 “Black Hawk” helicopters headed thier direction, full speed and just over the tree tops. Across the company “net” (The company net is the radio that is set on the channel that the entire company can talk to one another on, as well as support elements with us.) you hear, “Danger 1-5 this is Bad Blood 7-7 in flight to your location for air evac, we are one minute out needing current enemy situation”.

Moments later the birds were on the ground and loading up our guys to take to the next level of care. Soon thereafter we arrived on the scene and helped secure it while a recovery team began limp the tank onto a trailer to bring back to the FOB.

The human body does pretty amazing things when adrenaline takes over. One textbook case would be that of the tank commander of Danger 1-3. He evac’ed his crew and prepped them for evac with an ankle that was broken in 4 places and several shrapnel wounds along his right leg. He did what needed to be done to ensure that his guys were going to be alright and receive the care that they needed.

Today everyone is stable and secure at a hospital up north. Two of the guys will be headed to Germany later to begin many surgeries to fix all the factures in their leg and ankles. There is no doubt that if a Gun Truck were to have hit that IED it would have killed everyone in it. The blast was massive and everyone on that crew is extremely lucky to escape with their lives. These guys were all friends of mine and I have known most of them since I arrived at Ft. Hood a few years ago. With the wounds they sustained it will be a long recovery process for them. Hopefully they will all recover 100% and be there when we all return sometime next year. Thank you all so much for all your prayers and please keep these guys in your prayers as well.

Help From The Sky

2007-04-26T05:18:00.000-07:00

Almost every single night of the week there is at least one IED that goes off at our southern boundary on coalition forces. Always between 8:30pm and 1:00am and they are always fairly big. Sometimes it’s homemade explosives maybe with some napalm or a few artillery rounds with some occasional chlorine or ammonia added for extra trouble. Napalm, for those of you wondering what the hell I am talking about is this flammable sticky substance that you can make with some fuel and household cleaners, kinda like the stuff we used in “Nam”. When the IED explodes it ignites the napalm into a huge fireball that will stick to the vehicle passing by. So the vehicle is not only slammed with red hot pieces of shrapnel it also gets a coat of flaming gel that burns it to the ground.

We have tried a million different ways to catch this IED team. But we always just miss them. They either set up further down the road from where we are, or if we set up there they move further up the other direction or as we arrive and get set they detonate the IED right then. We know that they have “spies” that work the area and tip them off on our movements and it just adds to our frustration.

But on Monday night we had some help from the boys of the United States Air Force. A team of F-16 fighters were coming through the area on a mission when they saw a group of three men emplacing an IED along the highway. They continued to watch them from afar while a team of OH-58 Kiowa Warrior Helicopters moved in on the area. When they arrived the IED team had emplaced their IED’s in both the north and south bound lanes and had moved into a hide position in the reeds along a nearby canal. The Kiowa’s spotted them and their “get-a-way” truck (A 1976 single cab Toyota truck that looked like it had been hit by a train) and proceeded to light up the night with a “Hellfire” missile followed by a few rockets and several hundred rounds of 50.cal machine gun fire during three very impressive “gun runs”. After that they reported “No further movement from that location.”

We had been set up in our hide position and had front row seats to the show. Once the choppers were complete it was our turn to move in and clear the area on the foot. We arrived to find a destroyed truck and a larger crater from the missile but no bodies or body parts. After searching the fields nearby for about an hour we were able to track down one of the terrorist attempting to crawl away; his foot had been misplaced during the altercation with the Kiowa’s. We patched his nub up and he said that his other two cohorts had been hit badly but he left them near the canal. A little later they were found down stream doing the face down float. Tuesday night was the first night in quite some time there weren’t any IED’s at our southern boundary. It was chaotic with all the different elements that were working in the area. But as always we go the job done and there are a few less bad guys out there today.

PS – 12 days until I am “suppose” to be home.

Good News For People Who Love Bad News

2007-04-14T04:53:00.000-07:00

Maybe there are still a few of you that have yet to see the news but I would really be surprised. Most of you actually knew before I did. I just found out yesterday while Holly and my mother knew on Wednesday. But I guess that’s to be expected from the Army. After three and a half years I should have known better.

But yes, it is true. My unit and every other unit over here has been extended. That’s right; my 12 month tour is now a 15 month tour. So I will miss another Thanksgiving, Christmas, spend my 23rd and 24th birthday here and miss Holly’s birthday which will be for the third year straight.

There are a lot of reasons that this is happening. Mostly cause of “The Surge”, the fact that troops are only getting 10 months back home before having to re-deploy. I think it has to do with both those reasons and the fact that Republicans know they are running out of time until the plug gets pulled on this place. This is thier “Hail Mary” with 3 seconds left in the 4th.

But just like a soldier is supposed to do, we shut up and continue on. One day we will get back home. Hopefully.

Engery Drinks and Pain Killers

2007-04-10T05:44:00.000-07:00

As hinted in the title, this war is fueled by enery drinks and pain killers. When the going gets tough, the tough get a Bed Bull and a 1000mg of Tylenol 3. I dont know if I could make it with out em. But no, I'm not a junkie; dont worry. I do hate to ask for things. I mean, I like to think that I am a "grown up" and can provide for myself. But being over here I have very limited means to do that. I deem these things necessary but most likely could do without them, but its nice to have some “comforts” from home over here. With my free time I have created a little wish list of a few things that I just can’t get over here but would love to have. If you are in the giving mood I know just the person to give too; Me.

-Energy Drinks (Red Bull, AMP, Monster Drinks)
-Quaker Instant Oatmeal (Fruit Variety Packs)
-Tuna Fish (Star-Kist packets or peel-able cans)
-Ramen Noodles (Chicken or Beef)
-Air Duster (Air in a can)
-Campbell’s Chunky Soup

[Please, no candy. I have plenty.]

That’s really about it. Thank you all so much for everything that you have sent out here already. I appreciate every bit of it. Please don’t feel obligated to send anything, these are just some helpful hints for those that want to.

Feed Me.

Into The City

2007-04-09T06:48:00.000-07:00

So in support of a fellow company we traveled into the city for what was my first time. My company AO (Area of Operations) lies outside the city to the south and covers a smaller farming town. In support of them we were to come in to the city at the break of dawn with local IP’s and begin to search a section of the city along with other platoons from the battalion. Our little piece of the pie wasn’t so little, and being in a Tank Platoon we are challenged even with a lack of man power. A tank platoon has only 16 members; two of ours were on leave giving us 14. Now an infantry platoon has close to 40 in a platoon and figure they some on leave of needed else where we will give them 35, which is still twice as much as us.

So there we are in the heart of the city, all fourteen of us doing the work at the same pace as 35 infantry grunts. From 0600 to just after noon my platoon cleared 104 houses; finding several weapons and one HVT (High Value Target). We had divided up in two teams and each team had five IP’s with us. I was the leader of team two and my and my team cleared a total of 71 of the 104 houses. I really don’t know what Teams 1 hold up was but they did catch that HVT so whatever. But it sounds like everything went smooth right?

Well it did, in total there were 7 IED’s that went off, countless burst of small arms fire and then as we headed out of the city we started taking mortar fire. There was only one destroyed US truck and a US solider injured, and I think three IP’s were killed from separate attacks. They usually take the brunt of the attacks around here. They primarily roll around in thin skinned Chevy Trucks and those don’t take an IED blast to well.

Oh I almost forgot, one of the IED’s was three 130mm rounds stuffed in a dead donkey…

We made it though, and I am finally back here on the FOB for a day and go figure there is a blackout. Not sure why but rumor is a soldier from the main body of my unit down south was killed late last night and one more is holding on barely at a nearby Army hospital. We were briefed that attacks pick up as the weather heats up and they couldn’t be more right. Last month alone IED’s were up 120% in our sector. I am not trying to scare any of you; I just want to let you know what is actually going on here. The media talks about operations on a larger scale and it is usually blown out of proportion. I just want to give you a little view of what life here on the ground is really like. Maybe it’s a sure sign that I need a break but I find my self really enjoying these missions. Most have us have a sort of addiction to this adrenaline rush. But I think I just really need a break.

The silver lining in all this is that there is a break coming for me. I finally have a leave date. I am scheduled to be home on May 8th, it probably will be closer to the 10th by the time I get home but really I don’t care what the exact day is, it’s just the fact that I am going home. I only get 14 days but, fourteen minutes from here would be nice.

So there you go ladies and gents, mark your calendars. Cause I am coming home!

Searching through abandoned homes for "squaters"

One of the oldest mosque in world in one of the oldest cities in the world...

Never in a million years did I think I would see a singing "Big Mouth Bass" fish in Iraq...

Proof Reading And Pictures

2007-03-29T06:05:00.000-07:00

So I just looked at my previous post and realized just how many errors there were. [Most were fixed.] Remind me to never post after being up for so long. I am surprised you all could even read that garbage.

Anyway, in honor of being here for almost six months I have decided to post some pictures. Hope you all enjoy!

"Juice" firing off an AT-4 rocket to start off a very long night along the Tigris River...

I had installed that piece of glass the day prior to getting hit by this IED. It saved my life.

Some of the students from a local school that we have been doing improvements on.

Conducting raids on a village that an IED emplacer had just ran to. We found him.

The crew of Dragoon 3-2, aka: "The Slutty Pumpkin"

(Inside joke for the name of the truck. Watch "How I Met Your Mother" on CBS to figure it out.)

Almost There

2007-03-23T12:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I am finally back on the FOB just in time to head back out to the Patrol Base for a few more days. The past few days were pretty busy. We did three straight nights of Air Assault missions. That’s when we all load up on helicopters and get dropped off in the middle of no where and all we got is what we have on us, and it’s a lot. We carry a lot of gear because you never know what you will find while you are out there. So we carry everything from rocket launchers (AT-4) to bolt cutters, to spike strips and as always plenty of ammo.

So the month of March is soon to be coming to and end and the end of this month is a major milestone for this deployment. As of April 1st I will have been gone for 6 months. Yeah, six months already, half a year gone. I haven’t seen my family or friends or fiancé this whole time. But I will soon! As it stands right now and as always is subject to change, I should be home around the first of May for some much needed R&R. I get two weeks from the day I land in Dallas to spend with everyone, and I am so looking forward to it. Holly and I had big plans to go on a cruise or to Mexico or Puerto Rico, but with it never really being for sure on what day I would arrive it made it hard to plan a trip. So we have decide to go somewhere that is almost a sure bet on a good time; Las Vegas. You cant go wrong with Vegas from what I have been told. I myself have never been and neither has Holly but with the crappy luck that we both have I am sure that we can waste plenty of money in a short time. I have also heard that they are very welcoming to soldiers coming in from Iraq, so I will be playing the “I nearly got my head blown off by a bomb” card and see what upgrades I can get with that.

Well everyone this is the first night that I can get more than 5 hours of sleep so I plan on taking full advantage of that. I head out for 48 hours of fun in the sun so I will check in a few days from now.

Non-Stop

2007-03-20T02:57:00.000-07:00

So I know it has been awhile. The good news is that I am alive and well. The bad news is that we are very busy for the next few days. So don’t worry I didn’t forget you all. I am either; sleeping, eating or playing Army. Here in the next few nights we should be wrapping things up and I will have time to take a shower and hopefully write a blog. So enjoy your Spring Break or work week or whatever it is that you do. And maybe someday soon I will have some time to write.

Combat Tourist

2007-03-12T02:10:00.000-07:00

Well I’m back from my little tour of Iraq. As you know I had to go to a trial in Baghdad and put the Super Mario Brothers away for 6 years each for their possession of an RPG. It was good to see our work finally pay off and see these two go away for a few years. Life expectancy in an Iraqi prison is only seven years so we will see just how tough they really are.

After spending 5 days in the “International Zone” or IZ as the cool kids call it, I am convinced that there are way too many politicians here. In what is one of the most dangerous cities in Iraq, I was surrounded by men and women in suits and ties skirts and heels hustling around talking on their cell phones. I am convinced that these people don’t really understand that there is a war going on about 5 miles away. I stayed at one of Saddam’s former palaces and it was very awesome, too bad they don’t allow photography inside. I ate Burger King and Pizza Hut and got coffee from the Green Bean Coffee Shop every morning. At night we watched movies off the side of the cabaña next to Saddam’s former palace pool. We went site seeing and saw the Al Rasheed Hotel where all the press stays; I saw the “Cross Sabers” and the Iraqi Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and many other sites as well.

It will probably be the only trip that I will ever make to Baghdad, so I made the best of it. It was almost like an early R&R and a very much needed break. But now I am back here at my little FOB up here. I did miss this place, it’s got everything we need and there are to many ways to get in trouble and spend money down there so it’s best I stay out of there.

Unfortunately, while I was gone the battalion I am attached too lost 6 guys in a very bad attack. One gun truck was hit with and IED and exploded into flames. The guys in the truck behind them saw their injured buddies trapped inside and got out and started running up to the truck to save their comrades when a second IED detonated on them killing 3 of them. Yesterday was the memorial service for them and it was one of the saddest ones I have been to. I hate going to them, and hopefully I won’t have to go to any more. It was hard to hear as they told each soldiers story and how young some of them where. Some of these guys were born in 1987 and 1988. That’s nearly my little sister’s age, and that’s awful that this happened to these guys that were just barely out of high school. Its just one of the harsh realities of this place I guess.

"Cross Sabers"

"The Palace Pool"

"Saddams Former Palace, now the US Embassy"

Its A Small World

2007-03-03T07:32:00.000-08:00

It really is a small world. The other night “David” our interpreter and I were walking up to the hospital to get the details from the IP on three men that had been shot execution style by a local terrorist group earlier in the night. You think our conversation would have something to do with the struggles of the Iraqi people or the pain of the family that just had such a great loss. No, David was curious as to where I was from back in America. I told him I was from Oklahoma; it’s the state right above Texas. When he heard me may say Oklahoma his eyes got huge, like he actually some idea of what the hell I was talking about. Cause in fact he did. David’s father had lived in Oklahoma and not only that he had gone to OU. He had lived in freaking Norman. So here I am in Iraq talking to an interpreter from Tikrit, Saddam’s freaking home town and his father has not only been to America, but been to Oklahoma and lived in the same town that I grew up in. Not going to lie. It’s a little bit freaky almost. So I then asked David to ask his father where he lived in Norman, but he said he can’t, because terrorist killed his father 2 years ago when David was an Iraqi Policeman. And once again the depressing state of this place sank back in.

Green Zoner

2007-03-03T03:17:00.000-08:00

I’m headed to Baghdad tonight for the trial of an insurgent that we captured a few months ago. There is no need to worry, I won’t be out on the streets fighting Al-Sadr’s Army or anything like that. I am just going to hang out in the “Green Zone” and go do this little court thing. It’s going to be an adventure just like everything else. And as always I will take plenty of pictures and I will write about it when I get back sometime next week. Until then you all have fun and check back around the middle of next week for another exciting installment of “The Life I Lead…”

JACOB

One Wild Night

2007-03-03T02:06:00.000-08:00

It was wild. That’s really the only way to describe what all went down the past 48 hours out at the Patrol Base, simply wild. Our platoon is really working on picking up our “Op Tempo”. This means we are hitting the streets harder, hunting down the bad guys and pretty just going all out with a show of force. We have named this “Operation Tool Time” In honor of our worthless platoon sergeant “Tim Taylor”. He is a very scared man, and is always trying to talk our LT and the rest of the platoon out of missions. This in turns allows the terrorist more freedom to conduct their operations, then bringing it all full circle and making to more dangerous for all US Forces in the area. Needless to say he is by no means a brilliant man, and I obviously have great distaste for him. But he is gone on leave now so its time to go full speed.

So “Operation Tool Time” is in full swing and we are going at it pretty hard while out in sector for those ~48 hours. The first major incident plays out like an episode of COPS and a scene from the movie “Platoon” I believe. And it goes like this.

Our platoon was rolling north along a narrow dirt road atop a berm that holds in a canal on one side and swath of pathetic excuses for farms on the other side, it goes by the name “Canal Road”. Creative, I know. The tank is leading or patrol to a place where we were planning on over watching the road way for IED emplacers that night. The tank notices a person running full speed away from us. This is very suspicious for many reasons. First it’s nearly 11pm and no one is supposed to be out and about at this time. Second, he is in an area that many IED’s are detonated from and lastly he is running and these people know if you don’t have a reason to run from the Americans, then don’t, cause we will more than likely kill you.

So we decide to action on him. All the trucks pull off the berm and start off-roading through some very rutted fields. The trucks are bouncing all over the place, it feels like a riding a bull. The tank can see him duck into the fields and start trying to crawl away in its thermal sights. As the trucks trail blaze through the fields our LT’s truck hops a ditch and sinks off into a rice paddie. His truck remains stuck there for the next 30 minutes while we continue to operate around him. Now we are down to my truck and my roommate’s truck. Our trucks manage to make it to a small village where the tank last spotted him.

Doc, Jose and I bail out when we get to the village. We kick in a couple doors and push through the first few houses. At this point our hearts are racing; we are all pumped to catch this guy. I mean he has to be a bad guy cause they way he tried to evade us. We move across a little back yard at full speed and I kick the door in to a small mud hut and Doc goes in first and finds him trying to hide in the back corner behind a ten-speed bike from 1960 or something. We have our interpreter “David” tell him to get up, but he doesn’t. This is where we had to remove him from the hut. Once outside we put him against the wall and start trying to search him. David is telling him to hold still and stop moving and to get his hands out of pockets, after his third warning we are left with no choice but to subdue him. Still after slamming him around and taking him to the ground he is still trying to fight us off. We finally subdue him and get him searched and cuffed and proceed to further search the house and talk to the family in the area.

This is when you start to feel bad. This guy is 19 years old and has surprising substantial strength. We have caught guys red handed with RPG’s and everything else and they never resist, but this kid was hell bent on not giving up. We pull some of the family outside to see if they know this guy and right away the mother starts to cry out that it’s her son and he is well, handicap. Yep that’s right, he is a little slow, a few cans shy of a six pack. He doesn’t have full blown “Downs syndrome” or anything the physically identifies him as not running on all cylinders. My personal diagnosis is that he might have been Autistic or something like that and really had no idea what he was doing and just how close he was to getting gunned down. He was just scared I guess. He ran, hid and then made the unwise decision to try and resist from US Forces. We had no idea he wasn’t all there at the time we pursued and captured him. But looking back you kinda feel bad. But you got to do what you got to do. So the first major event of the night was that we spent about 45 minutes chasing down, capturing and wrestling and handicapped guy. All too just let him go to his family, and remind them to keep him inside after dark. Totally wining hearts and minds aren’t we?

North Bound on Tampa

2007-02-25T05:40:00.000-08:00

Route Tampa is a four lane highway that runs from way south of Baghdad to somewhere way north of Baghdad. It’s kinda like the I-35 (For those of you that know what Interstate 35 is.) of Iraq. There is no paved shoulder just a smooth gravel area about the width of a traffic lane on both sides. The median is also unpaved and covered in gravel as well, with some random shrubberies thrown in there to liven the place up. Tampa truly is “The Highway to Hell”, it accounts for more IED’s that any other route in all of Iraq and the hottest stretch of highway just so happens to be in my area of operations.

Yesterday afternoon my platoon was relived out at the patrol base by our 1st platoon. We had just done our 48 hours there and now it was their turn. They had just came down Tampa in the south bound lane and notified us of a suspicious bag on the side of the north bound lane. They said they checked it with binoculars and the sights from the main gun on the tank but determined that it was just a trash bag and called it “clear”, but to take caution. Hours later I find this out.

For the time being I am the truck commander (TC) of my truck. The name of the truck is eloquently, “The Slutty Pumpkin”, it’s a long story and you have to watch the show “How I met Your Mother” on CBS to really understand. Usually I am the gunner, but my actual TC is on leave so I have taken over. For the past month while I have been a TC I have been the TC of the rear truck in the convoy. But today on the way back north, back to the FOB, I was lead truck. The lead trucks job is pretty “simple”. It’s to stop all traffic coming in the opposite lane, to push traffic back away from roadways feeding to the highway, look for any sort of possible attack on the convoy, dodge potholes and previous blast holes in the road that can hide landmines waiting to be driven over, and most of all search for IED’s. Most IED’s are placed along the side of the road and remote detonated. There are some that have a invisible Infa-Red beam that shoots across the road and when you cross it the IED detonates. Some have a command wire that runs back to where the “trigger man” is hiding, then some have tiny copper wires that are laid across the road and when you run them over they connect and detonate the IED. It may not sound like much but when you also got your lieutenant in the next vehicle back calling up the most obvious things on the radio non-stop the whole way, (“Be advised the sky is blue” kinda stuff…) and yapping all sorts of other useless’ crap out to you it take some concentration and patience to get from point A to point B.

So there we are headed north, creeping along at a blistering 20 mph due to the fact that we are having to tow a tank back that broke down the night prior while we were conducting some raids in the area. The shoulders of the roadways are littered with all sorts of junk, tire shreds metal scraps, trash bags and everything else that can blow out the back up a truck. No, they don’t have the “Adopt A Highway” program over here, yet. I notice a plastic bag laying inches of the road which is a little odd for it to be so close to the edge but it’s blowing the in wind and appears to have nothing in it. Right as we are directly next to it fate just so happened to blow some wind directly in the bag blowing it open and letting me look directly in it. “OH SHIT IED! IED! IED! GO! GO! GO!” I screamed to my crew. My gunner hits the grounds screaming “OH SHIT". Thats all could manage to say, thanks for that update there pal! I grab the “hand mic” to the radio and call over the net “IED IED, STOP! STOP! STOP!”.

The whole time in my head I am thinking; “Oh my God this is going to blow up right here on me. I am only like 4 feet from this thing; this is going to really suck.” My driver has since stomped on the gas a pushed up out of the way, all the other vehicles were able to stop just before getting to it. We got lucky they didn’t get the chance to detonate it on us. There is no doubt that they would have blown up one of the trucks. But the bag just happened to be blown open so I could see it looking right back at me. Kinda like looking down a loaded gun during a bank robbery. It was crazy to see a bomb just sitting there. Back in January when I get blown up I never saw it coming, nor did any one on the crew that day. This one was a 155mm artillery round with a long range cordless phone base wired to it and some red duct tape holding it all together. I probably could have read the serial number off the round I was so close. As usual Explosive Ordinance Disposal (EOD) came out and used their high-speed little robot and some C4 explosives to “dispose” of it. Once again making the roads safe for Americans and Iraqis alike.

We got lucky again, for the month of February we have found two IED’s and have yet to be hit and that alone is extraordinary. If the platoon gets hit by 2 IED’s a month it’s considered a good month. So far for the month we have yet to get hit. But the month isn’t quite over yet. Just add that to the list of crazy moments here in Americas fifty first state, Iraq.

And now for your viewing pleasure, a little video my gunner filmed that day. Enjoy.

Poor Britney

2007-02-20T23:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Ms. Spears,

I am sure it is very tough being rich, famous and the mother of two. Your loser husband left you, and yes it was all your fault. I am sure you do have some amount of stress in your life. But did you need to shave your head?

For crying out loud, someone tried to kill me today, and by friend got both his legs blown off down in Balad. Talk about a great day huh? Did I go nuts and shave my head? No, probably because I am not pathetic.

Take a lesson from the countless men and women that have came over here, gone through hell and came home just fine. Soldier up; and shut your mouth, nobody cares anymore.

There are 17 year old kids over here fighting and dying. Do something productive with your time and money and give them and hand. Roger?

Thanks,
Everyone in the world.

What We Really Like

2007-02-20T02:25:00.000-08:00

So a few weeks ago I posted a classic picture of myself reading an issue of Cosmopolitan on Facebook.com, with a caption that read “Send magazines please…” Yes, that’s right, I was reading a chick magazine. And yes, the image of a rugged soldier, wrapped in body armor and ammo pouches sitting in the gun turret of his armored gun truck while reading new yoga tips and how to get ready for swim suit season all with a big smile is exactly what the photo looked like. It was a sad state of affairs, but as they say; “War is Hell”

[You can also just skip the effort of using your brain and just check it out down below.]

Anyways, we got all these “feminine” magazines from a doctor’s office in Charlotte, NC or somewhere. And we sincerely thank them for the time and effort and we appreciate their support of us men in uniform over here. But hidden there is the problem. We are men and we really don’t want to read, Cosmo, Redbook, or Women’s Fitness. We do like the pictures and tips on how to keep our Christmas cookies tasting great, but what we really want to read about are cars we cant never afford, electronics we will never own, stupid people and sultry women with very little clothing.

But there are real men out there that answered the call and sent help to further solidify our manhood. In the past few weeks we have got the latest issues of Maxim and Stuff, and we even got the last issue of FHM ever! (Rest in peace good magazine, you were a dear friend.) Then came the real “good” stuff; a little magazine from a solid American by the name of, Larry Flint. That’s right America, you sent us Penthouse. In a country where porn is banned by the local government and the foreign Army that occupies them. Your counter-pornography tactics prevailed me and my fellow fighting soldiers can once again remember what we are fighting for.

Thank you America.

Before:

After:

(Sweet glasses huh?)

The Impossible Passport

2007-02-14T11:59:00.000-08:00

So those quality people in congress have once again done us all such a great service with this new law requiring a passport for those who plan of visiting Canada and our fence jumping brothers to the south, Mexico. It may be a big victory that will somehow help crack down on terrorism, but you only need a passport if you are flying into the states. Drivers and guest aboard cruise ships are still good to head out with out one, but they are encouraged to get one.

You may be wondering why I am even talking about this and what does it have to do with me. Well, while am over here fighting for the good ole “Mother Land” they are passing laws that are screwing up my dreams of white sand beaches and drinks with little umbrellas. From what I have learned is that all us travelers flying to Mexico need a passport, which really is no big deal. No big deal if you are in America. But last I checked I am not; I am in freaking Iraq! Therefore making the passport process much more difficult.

Now I have to first get permission to even attempt this little trip, second schedule a trip on a Blackhawk into Baghdad to visit the embassy. Normally I wouldn’t even attempt such a trip, Baghdad is crazy and helicopters are not doing a good job of staying in the air. I know I would be fine and am not worried about the adventure down there if it even gets approved. But it does skim through your thought process.

If this was all just regular R&R I really wouldn’t be to upset, there are a million places in America that I would love to travel too. But Holly and I are getting married soon and we were going to use this abundance of time and cash to take a nice trip somewhere really fun. Its going to be our honeymoon, just beofr the wedding thats all. We have thought about maybe going to Italy to see Val and the sights out there; or Cozumel for the beaches, relaxation and “all-inclusiveness”. Then there are a few other exotic Caribbean hot spots that we have looked in to. I mean this will be our honeymoon and we don’t want to stay and the Best Western in Amarillo. I have been over here for to damn long too not go big while on leave. We have earned this trip so we are going to take this trip!

So now here I am between a rock and a hard place. I got people researching this new little law; hopefully there is a loophole for soldiers. If not, hopefully I can get down to Baghdad and get that passport and get it to the states before my leave starts. I guess these next few weeks will tell the tale. Hopefully it’s not to late though.

Let keep those fingers crossed and I think it’s time I start working on “Plan B”

Fuel + Ammo + Boredom = Fun

2007-02-11T10:44:00.000-08:00

Okay think back to one point in your life when you almost were seriously injured or died. Like, you had to slam on your brakes to avoid a car crash and just barely missed it by like an inch. What was the first thing you did once you realized you were okay? Well, okay so some of you may have cried or started thanking God, but did any of you laugh? Cause that’s what I do. I stop, replay what just happened, start laughing and shake my head thinking “wow that could have really sucked…” See, me and some of my buddies over here were talking about how after all the IED’s and other really stupid crazy things we have done the first thing we do is start laughing and saying “Oh man did you see that!”, “Dude! That was crazy!” But for some reason none of us are ever like; “Oh man, that was so dangerous, we need to stop doing this”. “We need to stop pouring fuel on this fire, someone will get hurt”; or “no, don’t shoot that with a grenade launcher, we are way to close”. Instead we all yell, “Yeah pour more fuel on there”, and “Hell yea! Shoot it again!”

What happened to us? Where did our sense of fear go? I mean we aren’t doing anything drastically stupid but still, why do we laugh after every near death experience? Is it really that funny? Or is it that we are all just so numb to the fact that they are trying to kill us that there is really no other emotion to use at a time like that. Then there is the fact that we get so bored over here and have a near endless supply of ammo and fuel and our mothers are thousands of miles away and can’t tell us to not do these things. So we do it; and it’s pretty cool.

Then one night when you find a canoe that’s being used to shuttle IED materials across the river, what do you do? You fill it full of flammable things soak it in fuel, light it on fire and push it into the river. Then everyone gets on line and opens fire on it with everything you have. At the same time in the back of your head you are thinking, my mom would be so pissed if she knew what I was doing over here…

Love ya mom.

Nothing Fancy

2007-02-08T04:13:00.001-08:00

The last few days have been rather “slow”. But slow is not always a bad thing. Slow is also safe and being alive is pretty cool so I think I will keep doing it. The only real big earth shattering news is the fact that we finally got internet run to our CHU’s. So I can finally sit here in the comfort of my room and talk online to everyone, and surf the endless “World Wide Web”. It’s fantastic; I wasted nearly a whole year in Korea online so I plan on doing the same here. You won’t believe the things for sell on EBay…

About a week ago I went on my first “air assault” mission. We took two Chinooks (The big double rotor helicopters) into a small village near the Tigris that was reportedly building IED’s and where hiding a large cache up there. But, it actuality they had nothing. It was fun running on and off the helicopter like we were storming the beaches of Normandy but other than that we walked around kicking rocks looking for clues. The only shots fired were at a stray dog that was trying to fight Eddie, the bomb sniffing dog. The dog handlers 9mm won that fight. As a Tanker, I never expected to be doing these type of missions so its fun to switch it up from time to time. I actually do very little “Tanking” we spend a lot of time in gun trucks and on the ground; which last I checked was the Infantry’s job. But anyways we get the job done with minimal complaining, even though we would much rather be in our tanks where IED’s a joke and we can destroy a car traveling 50 mph over two miles away. Which beats the trucks where I have a range of less than a quarter mile, and it takes a few well placed shots to stop a car. With the tank, it just takes one squeeze of the triggers to turn a car inside out in a fraction of a second.

Enough violence, I got a few packages the other day from some fantastic people and I am afraid that now that I have all these cookies and candy and the internet right here, I will soon gain a few dozen pounds. Well, maybe until summer comes along and then I think I will sweat back down to skin and bones. That’s all I really got though. Hope you all are doing well. I’ll try to write again soon.

Me and my "AG" pulling security behind some "serious" cover...

Back to School

2007-02-03T10:53:00.000-08:00

In our area there are something like 70 schools, all probably in desperate need of repair some much worse than others. But we are only here for a year and we can only tackle so many projects at once. We do what we can, and that’s still better than nothing at all. So we picked a few schools to start on. We got one school that would be kinda like a Kindergarten through Fourth grade that has about 200 kids; which is considered a pretty big school around here. Then we got what would be a fifth through eighth grade girl’s school and next door to it is the boy’s school. Yes, schools are divided like that all the way through high school. And I hated school with girls, I can’t imagine how bad it would have been without, on the other hand I might have paid a little more attention to the teacher and not the nice set of legs across the classroom…

Anyways, if you can recall those monumental elections Iraq had a few years ago, you may remember all the violence that came with them. In the area that we control the schools were used as voting centers much like they are in America. Well, that morning as voters and teachers and children alike started to arrive for the day they were met with the unforgiving blast of IED’s. All the schools that were going to be used as voting center had IED’s detonated at the front doors of them that morning blowing down the front doors, throwing shrapnel throughout the school, blowing out windows and reeking all sorts of havoc. But the Iraqis pressed on. The election was a success and the children were undeterred and continued to attend classes. But due to the minimal progress of the Iraqi government none of these schools ever really received any money for repairs. Most turned to the teachers and head masters (principles) and the US Army to pay for the cost of repairs.

This is where we find ourselves today, with a laundry list of repairs for an even longer list of schools. Now this may seem like it’s really not that big of an issue. You may think that we need to be out finding the terrorist that do all the damage around here since we are a combat unit. But looking at the big picture of it, these kids we help today are the kids that will one day help Iraq get out of this hole and keep my children or even yours from having to one day back over here and fight this ugly fight once again. And I do not want anyone to have to go through this. That’s why I am here, so you aren’t.

These schools really don’t need major repairs, the roof isn’t falling in and the kids aren’t in any real danger being in these buildings. The repairs mainly consist of new fluorescent lights and light bulbs, new light switches and wall plugs, new fans and glass in the windows, new doors and door knobs. It’s a whole lot of little things that add up to a lot of work. The worst is something that probably never crossed your mind, and it will make your stomach turn once you hear just what it is.

But first you need a quick geography lesson. Where I am is kinda like the “Mason Dixon” line of Iraq. This blurred line separates the Sunni and Shiites. The town that we mainly deal with is Sunni, but the bigger city that they kinda fall under is Shiite. This is why they didn’t get money for the schools, why the IA up here doesn’t get chow, bullets or soldiers like they should and why they shut off the main water lines that came up here. We also think that is was them that blew up the “High-Rise” power line right in front of our patrol base the other night. Leaving the already messed up power supply even more diminished.

Okay back to the schools. You may have notice that little line up there about the water being turned off. Well, that left this area with out any clean running water. The only “running” water is unfiltered from the river and canals. You couldn’t pay me a hundred dollars on the hottest day of the year to drink that water. These schools however have no running water, which is where this story gets nasty. The biggest problems these schools have are the fact that the bathrooms have no running water. No way for the kids to flush or wash their hands and its been like that for years. As we went through the schools “Doc” and I walked back to the bathroom and as we got near the stench was nearly unbearable. Once we opened the day what we saw was even worse. Iraqis don’t have the traditional “bowl” like we are accustomed to. They have this smaller modified bowl built in to the ground that you “squat” over. So, once the “bowl” filled up the kids moved on around that area and so on and so on. And you can’t just tell a kid they can’t go use the restroom. When they got to go they got to go. Now that things have became so bad it becomes a huge health issue. Just sending a kid is there is wrong, but they have little choice. I don’t even want to think about how bad it will be once it starts to warm up and the flies come back along with all sorts of bacteria and disease.

So here we are now. Stuck with a pretty serious situation we didn’t see coming, just like so many other things over here. We walked in wanting to make some simple repairs but saw things that we now just can’t walk away from. Somehow we have to get running water to them, despite the politics of the Iraqi people and our own Army. I have eight months left over here, I would be amazed to see it fixed before I leave.

But before I go, if anyone out there would like to send school supplies they would love to have them. Despite the lack of running water, class still goes on. Mostly they need the basic supplies that a 3rd grader would need. It’s been a while since I was in the 3rd grade.

They need:
Pencils
Notebooks
Crayons
Chalk
Paper
Erasers
World Maps
Folders
And most importantly in the kids eyes, Soccer Balls (“mista, mista gimme football!”)

[I have sent Holly the pictures and she will post them soon for you all…]

Sappy Love Stuff

2007-01-29T16:46:00.000-08:00

So the other day Holly, my fiancée, told me that a radio station, KSTAR, in Houston had a contest going on for the upcoming bridal show in The Woodlands. The Woodlands is a very nice town just north of Houston off of I-45. It’s confusing as hell getting around down there but really nice as you travel in circles looking for your destination. As I was saying, this radio contest was for the bride-to-be to email them just why she should be the winner. The winner of this little deal won a limo ride to a very nice lunch for her and three guest, $100 gift certificate to a nice “lingerie” boutique, $500 gift certificate to a spa there in The Woodlands and a “VIP” status at the bridal show and free entry her and her guest. There where several other prizes too, but I can’t think to them all off the top of my head, I am sure Holly would be more than happy to tell you.

So Holly, being the smart one that she is decides that I should write the letter about just how great she is and how she is so deserving of this prize. So me being the sweet, caring guy that I am; I oblige and whip a little something up. It was actually really easy to write, at first I figured I would have to pack it full of lies about how great she is, but once I started writing I realized, “Wow, she really is great, and she really does deserve this.” The end result was about a page letter that was the absolute truth. The real deal on what she goes through daily, the load she has to carry and on top of that the endless worrying she deals with knowing that her soon-to-be husband is overseas fighting in a war, and earlier this month was nearly wasted by an IED. She has to deal with no phone calls or contact from me for several days, never knowing if I am okay. She takes care of our house, pays all the bills on time, takes care of our dog, Lola, like it’s her child and still manages to work full time and go home on the weekends to visit her family and plan a wedding with little or no input from the groom. Now I know the groom never really has a whole lot of say on wedding plans, but I know she wishes she could bounce ideas off me every now and then.

Through all this we are still able to plan what will be an amazing wedding. And with the help of that little letter and the good people and KSTAR Country Radio in Houston, Holly was selected as the winner of all those great prizes that I mentioned earlier.
But little did she know that she was just minutes away from losing it, but her mother saved the day. See, they had Holly’s phone number and they were trying to call her all morning to tell her that she won and they were going to put her on the air, but she was at work and it was “crazy-busy” cause of all the reschedules from the ice storm a week or so before. So she was swamped at work and didn’t get a lunch and never even stopped to check her phone. Her mother, Laurie, was curious as just who might have won the contest and called the radio station at about 1pm to find out. Once on the phone with them they told her they did have a winner but could get a hold of her and if they didn’t hear from her in the next 15 minutes they were going to have to select a new winner. Laurie asks just who the winner was and as fate would have it, it just so happened to be her very own daughter, Holly. Laurie calls Holly at work tells her to answer the next phone call in a few minutes and there you have it; it’s the radio station and Holly is the winner!

So last night when I talked she was there at The Woodlands Bridal Extravaganza, with her Mother, Grandmother and friend all of them enjoying Holly’s winnings. I hadn’t heard her that happy in a long time and good news stories like that make life of here just a little bit better. So, things went our way for once; got to love it. Now the “social event of the year” on November 10th will be just that much more amazing. All thanks to KSTAR, my letter and the fact that Holly really is that amazing...

The perfect song for this comes from, “Coldplay”
and it’s called:

“Green Eyes”

“Honey you are a rock upon which I stand;
And I come here to talk I hope you understand;
Cause green eyes;
Yeah the spotlight shines upon you;
And how could anybody deny you…”

It's A Rush

2007-01-27T12:00:00.000-08:00

Now maybe somewhere through the course of your life you have had to kick a door in. Maybe you had to rescue a puppy from a blazing fire or your drunken friend that who locked himself in the only bathroom in the house and has since passed out. I’m sure there are many reasons out there for just why you did it. But it was a rush wasn’t it. Just like the movies you stepped back and gave it the old “Chuck Norris” one-two kick and it went flying open. Or maybe some of you gave it a more “Richard Simmons” exercise kick and ends up on the floor with the door still holding firm. None-the-less, for that split second it was a rush as you went all kung-fu on that poor door.

Okay so getting to the story, the other morning we were called out at about 4am to go grab up a target that had presented him self close to where we were. So we roll through the ruthless fog that covered the area that morning and come up on this little farming village not to far from the Tigris River. The farmers of this area are “Orange Farmers”, not like the ones in Florida, this are smaller, more ornamental looking orange. So all we have is an area where “Vince” (For fun we will name him, Vince.) might be. In this area are about 10 medium sized farm houses and the area is surrounded by orange orchards. We dismount our team (The “A-Team”) from the two tanks and two trucks that we rolled in on. We group up and decide to work from one side of the street on down. This is where the thrill seeker in me comes out. I don’t really know where I picked this sense of adventure up by I have it. So there I am leading the way straight into a doorway. No idea what’s on the other side or who if anyone is waiting for us. No idea if I am even going to be able to kick the door in. We get to the doorway and all the training from soccer coaches of the past comes back and with a size 9 full force into it, the door goes flying open and in we go.

We go through the first house and its just a few old ladies and a couple kids, definitely not who we are looking for so we head out and move to the next house. We are moving quickly and not wasting anytime; we go from the first house straight into the door of the second house. Never even missing a beat I kick the door in on the run and it goes flying off the hinges. I am not really that strong, Iraqi front doors just aren’t all that sturdy. We are moving through the house and out comes a “military aged male” and once he realizes just who is making all the commotion he hits the floor. We post a guard on him and keep pushing through the house. Just like every other house in Iraq there are tons of children; most of them under the age of six. And if you do the math, we invaded just under six years ago, so I guess since then baby making has been all there really is to do. We group all the women and children into a room out of the way and continue to search the home. We have his wife show use where the AK-47 is, everybody over here has one, and with out any hesitation she shows us where it is and where all the magazines for it are. Well thanks lady! You just showed us enough to haul your hubbie off for a few months. Iraqis are allowed to have one AK and one 30 round magazine. This guy had seven, “for protection” he said. So we load him up. This guy turns out to be “Vince” and our new friend “Vince” turned out to be a very wanted man in Iraq. Two points for the good guys!

We continue on down the street and search through four more houses all of them come up clean. We end up chasing down what turned out to be a 14 year old kid, when its dark out they don’t really look 14, he was just scared a bolted when he saw us clearing the roof of his neighbors. I really do feel sorry for these kids, that’s the hardest part of all this. Kicking in the door, snatching their IED planting father out of bed while they sit in the corner scared crying and having no idea what really is going on. Poor little guys are innocent, just caught up in their father’s poor mistakes. I give them some candy as we head out but really, I don’t think it fixes what they just witnessed.

All this goes on so fast you really don’t have time to think about what exactly is going on. You just go, full tilt, wide open, then all the sudden you are sitting in the tank rolling out of there and the adrenaline starts to wear off and your heart rate returns to a safe rate and you start to rethink just what happened and all you can do is smile and shake your head and think, “No one is ever going to believe what I just did…What a rush.”

Hear is a new favorite song of mine, it’s by “My Chemical Romance”

and the song is “This Is How I Disappear”

It’s a recommended download of mine. If you like this type of stuff that is…

“By streetlight, this dark night
A séance down below
There are things that I have done
You never, should ever know…”

Monster Truckin

2007-01-21T10:23:00.000-08:00

Once again I am back from another three days down at the patrol base. This one seemed to drag on forever. The highlight of the whole trip came within the first few hours. Now, for those of you that have been reading any of the previous post then you probably have heard me mention this place called “The Chicken Farms”. This little slice of Hell is the worst in our area of operations. (AO) This is where I got blown up earlier this month, and where my roommate has been blown up twice this tour. (Lucky for him, neither of the IED’s were serious and he and the truck he was on were just fine.) Anyways, this place is really rough and the other night a “Combat Logistics Patrol” or “clip” ( These are massive convoys of about 40+ semis carrying everything from Burger King french fries to Ford F-350’s) was rolling through that area and one of the semi’s was hit. At that point it caught fire and was abandoned to burn to the ground on the side of the highway.

This big piece of scrap metal became our mission at that point. So the morning we headed out we were to stop by and drag the beast out of the way. “Why do you need to remove a burned up carcass of a semi?” you might ask. Basically because it was left right next to the road and we aren’t going to give them any help hiding IED’s in this area, they are already doing a little to well. So we pull up check the area real good for any IED’s then back the tank up. That’s where yours truly hopped out and hooked the truck to the tank and drug her out into the open field. Then the real fun began. That is when we commenced to driving the tank over it, monster truck style, to crush it down to ensure that there is no way it can aid the insurgents fight. So just like a good ole monster truck rally there at the county fair grounds we spun the tank around and in the name of “Big Foot” crushed that beast.

We did a little damage to the tank but it is to be expected when you roll of a semi. Other than that, it was cold, wet and miserable for the next 48 hours. Another mission down and way too many more to go. So what did you all do this weekend?

Super Mario Brothers

2007-01-15T12:30:00.000-08:00

It rained the past few days and one thing the desert doesn’t really handle is its rain. Up here towards the north it’s really not so much sand, like a desert, its more dirt, like a barren unwanted wasteland. So when the rainy season begins all the dust and dirt from the previous eleven month drought turns to a nasty muddy soup. Then you drive a few tanks and trucks around in that and churn it up into a thick mud like paste that sticks to everything and your boots track it everywhere. But I guess we might as well enjoy the rain while it is here. Lord knows we will be wishing for it come July.

In other news we are back from another fun-packed trip to the patrol base. As most of you know our patrol base rotation are suppose to be 48 hours but for some reason my platoon ends up out there for longer nearly every time. Its really not a big deal being there for a few more hours in the big picture of things, but at the end of the rotation you are hungry, dirty and tired you just really want to get replaced so you can “combat suit up!” one more time and head back to the FOB; where hot showers, rooms and chow await. Not to mention, phones and the beloved internet. It was pretty low key trip all in all, no IED’s or anything crazy. Well, I take that back. When the IA, (Iraqi Army, we work very closely with them out here. It is after all their country and it will soon be their job to run this little puppet show.) were coming back from dropping off one of their soldiers they noticed one of the local IED Terror Cell leaders and his brother (“The Super Mario Brothers” is what we will call them) driving a truck the other direction. So the IA swing around and after a little resistance the “Mario Brothers” became property if the Iraqi justice system. They also just so happened to find the RPG-7 that the brothers where carrying with them. So just like that, two more bad guys off the streets. After running the names of the “Mario Brothers” they turned up to be suspects in a lot of bad business in the area. They are involved in everything from kidnappings, murders, weapon sales, to IED production, placement and detonation. The two of them apparently have a hand in everything that goes on in this area and more than likely had something to do with me getting blown up a few weeks ago.

It’s crazy that “Mario”, the oldest, was only like 22 years old and his little brother “Luigi” was only 17, and they are pretty important amigos in this show. So I am happy to see that they will be going to some dirty prison somewhere to rot for quite some time. Enjoy the vacation you two…

That pretty much wraps up everything that has been going on the past few days. The mud, the patrol base, the “Super Mario Brothers”; yeah, that’s really about all I can think of. Hope you all have fun with the ice back home in Oklahoma and Texas and where ever else you maybe, stay safe, and I will write again soon.

The Softer Side Of War

2007-01-12T20:04:00.000-08:00

Every now and then we do missions of a different type. We don’t go out kicking in doors and hauling off bad guys. We go to schools and homeless shelters and help out with what we can. A few days ago our platoon headed out to a little village out near the Tigris River. There is a little school out there that from the outside you would think it hasn’t been used since the invasion a few years ago. But nearly everyday about 200 children between 4 and 10 cram in to the eight classrooms and hit the books. The school has power but only for a few hours a day. The heaters were stolen out of the classrooms making it more like a concrete freezer with the temperature only getting up to the low 50’s on warmer days. These kids like school however, not like when I was a kid and would try everything in the book to avoid a dreaded day of 4th grade.

This is all a good sign for the future of Iraq in my eyes. Despite all the adversity, these families continue to get their children up and out the door and to school six days a week. These kids will get their basic education and hopefully continue on through high school and develop some sort of skills along the way. Something that they can apply to making the country a little better, something so they don’t end up digging holes on the side of the road for $45 (US) so someone can come by later and drop a IED in it.

The success of these kids is what will keep my children and your children or your grandchildren from coming over here and being exposed to the darker side of life. Our mission was simple, to pass out spiral notebooks, crayons and candy. To try to help these little kids out a little, and maybe make them smile a little too. We also did an assessment of the building and talked with the principle on what help he needed to help the school running. Number one on his list was heaters, and I must agree it was pretty chilly in the classrooms, with most of the kids wearing their jackets and gloves inside. We did a pretty good job on that mission. The kids got crayons and notebook and plenty of candy.

At first they were pretty scared mostly due to the fact that at some time soldiers have probably kicked in their door in the middle of the night and arrested their Dad, Uncle or big brother for one reason or another. But once we came in and took off our helmets and glasses and got down on their level and passed out some candy, they started to smile like a kid that age should. These missions are good to do. Something to break up the violence and stress that comes with most other missions. Missions like this give you a bit of hope that maybe someday Iraq might actually make it on its own.

If you or someone you know would like to send school supplies to these kids you all are more than welcome too. School supplies that they need are: Spiral Notebooks, Pencils, Crayons, Chalk, Notebook Paper, and Erasers. E-mail me at gijake@hotmail.com and I will send you the address for us over here and we will make sure that the supplies get to the kids.

"Because Concussions Are Cool..."

2007-01-06T11:33:00.000-08:00

- Warning -

This blog contains a graphic recount of the past mission, to include adult language. If you don’t want to hear exactly what went on then don’t read. For everyone else, proceed with caution.

When I was in high school I was captain of our rugby team. One year we got the idea to have team t-shirts made with a quote on the back, “Because Concussions Are Cool…” the girls loved them and we thought we were all pretty clever. Little did I know that the quote would come back later in my life, after I had hung up my cleats.

We weren’t even supposed to be going out that morning. We were supposed to have the day off, work on the trucks and prepare for future missions. At around 0830 however we got the word that we were going to have to go to Patrol Base Love to drop off some supplies for our infantry platoon so they could accomplish their mission. No big deal just drive there and back. Easy right?

At around 1240 we left the Patrol Base headed north on Route Tampa. “Tampa”, as we call it, is a four lane highway with rock shoulders and a rock median about 30 feet wide. The shoulders of the route are covered in blast holes and debris from past IED’s making the job of spotting them not quite as easy as we would like. For this mission I was gunning from the lead truck of our four truck patrol. The weather was cold and cloudy and spiting rain on us every now and then. We were south of the canal bridge, in a place known as “The Chicken Farms”. At one time back before the war the buildings to the east of the road use to be a chicken farm for Saddam’s family, or at least that’s the rumor. You can still see the large wall that use to have his face painted on it. But these days it’s covered in graffiti and has been used as target practice trigger happy gunners passing through. There are several large metal buildings, some still together, others have been stripped for their sheet metal from locals and others have been shot up by convoys that have been hit in that area before. This place is a hot area for IED’s; our platoon had been hit twice in this area before. There have been several triggermen killed in the area also, but IED’s continue to be a big problem there.

At 1303 our patrol was moving closer to the bridge where there was oncoming traffic that needed to be pushed off to the side of the road. Following our rules of engagement, I flashed my turret lights at them and then stood up to wave my flag at them. This is to let them know that they need to pull over and stop or they will be engaged by us. No one moves on the roads as we come through. It’s just one way to make our travels on the route safer.

I guess they saw me stand up and expose myself. I think they were going to hit the convoy regardless, but when they saw me stand up they knew they had a good opportunity to do more damage. That’s when it hit. More violent then any car crash or really anything you could imagine. The IED detonated directly on the front driver side tire no more than 10 feet off the road, we never saw it coming. The blast sent shrapnel and debris screaming through the fireball and thick black smoke. The blast and debris slammed me from right to left thrusting me into my M-4 rifle and shattering the ballistic glass surrounding me. I remember the heat, the smoke, the unimaginably loud explosion; and then nothing…

This is where the rest of the crew had to fill me in. When the blast hit the cab of the truck it immediately filled with dust and smoke. My driver, Dwight, pushed us through the smoke and everyone started screaming, asking if everyone else is okay. I didn’t answer, the blast had smashed me so hard against the turret it knocked me unconscious. From there I collapsed to the floor of the truck landing in the lap of my loader, Graves. For fifteen to twenty seconds I was completely out. Then I remember starting to hear things getting louder and louder, like someone was slowly turning the volume back up in my head bringing it to the roar that was going on inside the truck. I could hear the radio going nuts, I could hear Graves yelling at me, shaking me trying to get me to wake up and then I could hear the gunfire from the other trucks. I laid there on the floor of the truck for a split second checking myself, everything looked like it was present and still attached so I couldn’t be too bad. That’s when my crew tells me I said, “Oh, fuck this...” I stood back up in the turret to find that the blast had blown my M240 machine gun out of the mount and it was now lying on the roof of the truck and the ammo can was blown out as well. I quickly put the “240” back in the mount, switched the weapon from safe to fire and began unloading every round that I had. Blowing rounds into everywhere that I thought they could be. Every wall, building, tree, rock, mound of dirt, house out there was lit up. Not to mention that the other three gunners were laying down some serious suppressive fire as well. I continued firing until I ran out of ammo. I fired all 200 rounds I had loaded in just a few seconds. The barrel was glowing red and I dove back in the truck to find more ammo. When I dove back in they told me to stay down so they could finally check me out. I had jumped up on the gun before they ever got to see if I was alright. Luckily, all I had was a little gash on my forehead, just a little knick from a piece of rock probably; it was nothing to be really concerned about. It was now 1305 this had all just happened in less then a few minutes.

We searched the area from the triggermen but never found them. This is all too often the case around here. There are just so many good places to hide and so many avenues of escape that you have to get really lucky to see them. We left the scene and headed back to the FOB without any more drama. We got back and “Doc”, our platoon medic, took me to see the army doctor on the FOB. They evaluated me and told me that I had suffered a pretty serious concussion and that there was some slight bleeding behind my right ear drum. My head felt like someone had bashed it with a hammer. I had a serious headache, worst than any migraine I had experienced and my ears were ringing louder than I thought possible. My arm and shoulder also feel like they were hit with that same hammer too but this is all to be expected after standing up and taking a blast like that to the head.

The “Post Blast Analysis” determined that it was possibly two 155mm Russian artillery rounds that had blown us up. We got extremely lucky. We rarely see IED’s this size in our area and we were very fortunate to not take any serious injuries. The power of these things is devastating, but the Army has came such along way with additional armor for these trucks and there is no telling how many lives have been saved by these advances. I know that they can add one more life saved for sure. Less than a week ago we got the new “Ibis Tek” turret shields for the trucks and there is no doubt in my mind that the ballistic glass on them saved my life. The pictures prove it. My head was exposed, but the small additional piece on the front stopped a large piece of shrapnel from hitting me and making this story much different and probably written by someone else.

I wrote this not to scare anyone but to make sure everyone heard the same story, from me. To also let everyone know that I am fine. The doctor said I will be good to go back out on patrols in a couple days once the headaches go away and the ringing in my ears stops. I do believe all this does have a large part to do with the prayers from you all, so please I ask you, keep up the good work, your prayers are working, I am living proof. I will be fine and I will remain fine for the months to come. And as for those terrorist, their days are numbered.

The song selection for today’s blog comes from the band Coldplay and their song:
“God Put a Smile on Your Face”

“God give me style and give me grace;
God put a smile upon my face…”

The More You Know...

2007-01-06T11:12:00.000-08:00

So awhile back I got an email from an awesome friend we will call her, Amelia. In the email she was so kind to ask me some very good questions. So good in fact that I decided to share them you all of you.

1. When you're on 24 hour missions, where do you go to the bathroom?

A- Well, first off out missions are more like 50 hours. So of course nature calls. Depending of what we are doing, we usually just hop out of the truck and pee there. If we are in the city and there are people around, we just open the door to the truck to block the view. If we are in the tanks you always carry an empty Gatorade bottle just in case. As for the other phone call from nature; remember that scene in Forest Gump were they were burning the “Honey Pot” from the latrines their in Vietnam. Well in 2007 with all the advances in technology we still do that. You would think it would smell but you just put a lot of fuel in there and it’s good to go.

2. What's the FUNNIEST thing that has happened with you and the other soldiers? Surely you all do funny stuff.

A- We do a ton of funny stuff. You just have to otherwise this place would stomp you in to depression in no time. One of my favorites so far was when we were doing “TCP’s” on the highway one afternoon. “TCP’s” are Traffic Control Points, which means we shut the whole highway down and start searching cars. You think it would be ineffective, but we have caught some pretty guys doing it. Anyways, there we are searching this really nice Mercedes, and the owner is reluctant to open the trunk. We are getting frustrated with him but finally get him to comply. When he opens the trunk of his clean, mint condition 2000ish model Mercedes a live freaking sheep jumps out and nearly runs off. A live sheep! Not in a million years would I have guessed that was coming out of there. I was thinking a body or weapons or something was in there and that’s why he was giving us trouble. Another classic is one we pulled on my narcoleptic loader, Graves. See he falls asleep extremely quickly in the truck and I always have to wake him up and from time to time he helps me out and makes sure I am awake too. But this one time my driver Denver had the idea that he will scream “IED” and me and the truck commander will scream at the top of our lungs. So that’s what we did, Denver added some jerking of the steering wheel and we gave our best horror movie screams. We scared him good, and as we are all laughing about it he chuckles and says “That’s funny but we aren’t even off the FOB yet…” Well, “sleepy” back there had been out for a while I guess, because once again the joke was on him we were nearly at the bridge over the Tigris which is like a 20 minute drive from the FOB. Good times, good times…

3. Do you dream about what's going on over there, or about the fun times back home?

A- I guess I have a sleeping disorder or something, because even back in the states I didn’t dream. Like maybe once in awhile but I almost never dream. Or maybe I do and don’t remember them or something but yeah, no dreams in the states and no dreams here.

4. How many pounds of gear do you put on before going out on a mission?

A- Well I weigh 165lbs soaking wet. So add boots and a uniform we will round it to 170. Okay first we put on the IBA (Independent Body Armor) and my ACH (Advanced Combat Helmet) that’s near 40lbs with the side plates that I have also added to protect my insides. So now we are at 210lbs, next we add my “Mol-E Vest”, it holds my other gear, like 6 fully loaded magazines (30 rounds per mag), first aid kit, binoculars, flashlight and an iPod. That’s about another 10 pounds. Then add my M4 rifle clipped to my vest and my 9mm pistol on my hip it’s a little under another 10lbs. So you crunch the numbers and that’s about ~230lbs minus me soaking wet and you get about ~65 lbs of tactical garbage. Give or take a few pounds that’s what we carry on us all day while we are out on mission and at the end of the day you can feel it in your back and knees.

5. Have there been any climate changes since you first went over there? What's the average temperature in December?

A- From talking to my parents and Holly the weather has really been a lot like Oklahoma. It gets pretty cold here at night. And I have seen it snow and seen the puddles freeze up. So I would really compare it the weather you all have back home. The weather hasn’t been too bad here since I got here. But I have a feeling its going to get really hot really soon.

6. How long until you come home?

A- Well as of January 8th I will have been deployed 100 days. Do the math and that means only 265 more days from there. I will be home for 2 weeks sometime in July but even that may change to June. The plan is to be in Norman for most of it, but Holly and I are planning on visiting New Orleans for a night and then leaving there on a cruise to somewhere awesome for a few more days. Then after my R&R, I will just have to come back here with like only 60 days left. Sounds like a solid plan to me.

So there you go Amelia, hope you and everyone else enjoyed the answers and as always feel free to ask more either on here or email me.

Legendary

2007-01-04T00:25:00.000-08:00

So there is this place over here called LSA Anaconda. Its like a super FOB, it has a air base on it and the Navy has some kids there and I think I may have even seen a Jarhead or two. But this place is huge. This place is nothing like the dinky little FOB I call home up here. This place has everything, from a PX to Burger King to barber shops to a movie theater and concert stadium to Pizza Hut. See, where I am we have none of that. We have a two room “mud-hut” that has been made the “PX” (Army version Wal-Mart) and a DFAC (Dining Facility) and a Gym (That doesn’t stand for anything. It’s just a gym).
I am two and a half hours away from Anaconda straight down the worst stretch of highway in the world. So us just stopping by on the weekend is out of the question. But today we were lucky; our mission was to actually go there for legitimate business. That is where I encountered what will be forever known as; “The Greatest Pizza Ever”. Yeah, that’s right, EVER! See, I have been deployed for nearly 100 days now. And I haven’t seen anything that resembles “real” food in quite some time. Of course I have my junk food and snacks, but what I missed was a BigMac with fries, a chimichanga, Chick-fil-A 8-pack nuggets, a Grand Slam breakfast from Denny’s; the great food that America was founded on.
So there I am with a decision to make. Should I go with “Option A” or “Option B”? Should I go for the burger and fries from the BK Lounge or a hot and tasty pizza from Pizza Hut. I obviously went for “Option B” and it was so worth it. I got a medium knowing that even if I didn’t eat it all I would take the cold, dust covered leftovers all the way back to my FOB, overheat them in the most unreliable microwave this side of Istanbul, and enjoy every last scrap. I just might even eat the grease soaked cardboard. Okay that’s a little to far, I would never eat grease, cardboard maybe, grease no way.
But this is where the pizzas awesomeness comes in to play. I was served it fresh out the oven, the cheese still so hot it was nearly a liquid. Oh yeah, I got a Hawaiian pizza, the one with pineapples and Canadian bacon. Great choice, I know. So I dig in and it was shear bliss for the next 10 minutes. I devoured that pizza. It was just to amazing I couldn’t stop eating it. It was also 2pm and I had yet to eat so add that to the goodness that was the pizza and you have the making of this tale.
See what this all really means is that I really miss fast food and all the unhealthy things that the U.S of A has to offer. In America that pizza probably tasted like road kill but here, well it made this soldier’s day that’s for sure.

To keep with the mood of today the song selection is from Modest Mouse.
“Float On”
“Don’t worry even if things end up a bit too heavy;
We’ll all float on alright…”

Top 5 from the Army

2007-01-02T01:37:00.000-08:00

Okay the Army issues us soldiers tons of stuff. Most of the stuff we never use. It just sits in a duffle bag in a closet somewhere. But you have got to give those guys some credit where credit is due. They have issued us some alright stuff. This is really a cold-weather list because it’s pretty cold over here right now. When the summer rolls around then I will make another list. Now most of you don’t know exactly what all this stuff is so I will try to explain but these are my top five things the Army has issued to me.

5. The Gortex Jacket – It’s about the only thing the Army has issued that does a somewhat good job of keeping the water off you. The wet weather gear they issue is definitely number one on the worst piece of issued equipment. The gortex keeps the water off and is good for the cold but also breathes well so you don’t over heat in it.

4. The Gaiter Neck- All it is really is some elastic/cotton blend that tops kinda like a tube top but really small and you wear it over your neck and ears and face. You wear it about a hundred different ways and its great for keeping the cold air off you ears and face. It also works great at keeping the dust and dirt off you too.

3. The Advanced Combat Helmet – First let me tell you about the old Kevlar helmet. It was the most awful, poorly devised creation ever. Seriously, it was the most miserable most uncomfortable thing to wear. This new one is lighter and has an adjustable pad system inside to cushion it around your head unlike the other one that just had a band that squeezed your skull all day.

2. Individual Body Armor – This stuff has saved countless lives over here. I cant believe that my Grandfather use to storm the beaches in the pacific without it. As heavy and uncomfortable as it may be at times it may end up saving my life some day. The have also added side plates and other additional protective pieces for it as well. They have got a little too carried away for me with some of this stuff. I stick to the ballistic plates, the neck and throat pieces and the “groin” protector. A shot there would make you very combat ineffective if you know what I mean.

1. The 3 part sleeping bag- You have your heavy winter bag, a lighter summer bag and then a gortex liner to protect you from the elements. The bet part is you can hook them all together to build a super sleeping bag that will keep you warm on the coldest of nights. Its also ridiculously comfortable, and it if could get away with sleeping in it back home I just might do it. Holly says it doesn’t match the sheets so I can’t.

This song quote will come from classic Willie Nelson.
“Don’t Take Your Guns To Town”

“He laughed and kissed his mom and said;
Your Billy Joes’ a man;
I can shoot as quick and straight as anybody can;
But I wouldn’t shoot without a cause;
I wouldn’t gun nobody down...”

Welcome to 2007!

2007-01-02T01:33:00.000-08:00

Oh what a new year it was. Whew, the parties over here were just wild. I mean, this place is happening; I am surprised GQ hasn’t written about it before. (Side note- I love the magazine GQ and I recommend it to every male out there.) Okay, so of course that was all a total lie. Absolutely nothing went on over here. I actually sat here alone, watching cartoons in my CHU (Container Housing Unit) and happened to check my watch to realize, “Oh hey, its 7 minutes past Midnight, Happy New Year!” Yeah that’s how my night went, it was pretty wild.
So just like every New Years, you always have to have a resolution. You know some sort of big goal for the year ahead. I have no idea what mine was last year, but I hope I pulled it off, whatever it was. This year I have a few resolutions to try to master. First is to submit my Warrant Officer Flight Packet. See, before I left to come over here I was submitting my flight packet and I was 97% done when I went to go get my vision checked. Well it turns out the kid that has had 20/20 vision his whole life and never needed glasses doesn’t have good enough vision in his left eye when its dilated. Yeah, talk about a shot to the heart. I seriously cried I think. I had taken the test and dominated them, but no, I got stopped by an eyeball. Stupid eyeball. So that is hurdle number uno. Get PRK (Lasik) done to my eye when I get back and submit my packet.
Resolution number two is the same as everyone’s default resolution. It is simply to stay alive for the next year. Everyone plans on staying alive till next year, but this year I plan on putting a little more emphasis on making sure that happens. It’s not really like the states where life isn’t taken from you quite so easily. Every time we roll out over there is always that chance. So there are all the big plans for 07’; stay alive and become a pilot. Kinda lofty goals I have set for myself. But like it says in the “About Me” there on the right side of your screen, I am the greatest. So this should all come easily.
Don’t get me wrong I do have more planned for 2007. On top of staying alive, I plan on getting married to Holly in November( Side note- It will be the greatest wedding ever so pray you are invited.), in July we plan on going on a cruise somewhere fantastic and I plan on buying a huge TV when I get back. See I’m not all career obsessed. I care about other things too; like my Holly, vacations and big material objects! So here’s to our resolutions and here’s to the New Year!

The song quote comes from the Counting Crows.

It’s called, “Long December”.

I know its January, but the song still works.

“A long December and there’s reason to believe;
Maybe this year will be better than the last.
I can’t remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving;
Oh the days go by so fast…”

176sq Feet of Home

2006-12-30T19:15:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, I live in a CHU. But what most of you don’t know is
what a CHU exactly is. Simply put, it was once one of those large shipping
containers you see on a train. But the nice people at some company somewhere
added some windows, a door, lights, a floor and what seems to be about an
inch of insulation. Then somewhere along the line it was painted a nice
desert tan and an AC unit added for good measure and “ta’daa”, we have a
“Container Housing Unit”. One good thing about these CHU’s are that we can
set them up how ever we like. Some guys get pretty carried away, building
all sorts of stuff. Andrade (My roommate and fellow 3rd platoon gunner) and
I really have built a pretty nice little set up here. I can tell that none
of you still really have any idea what I am talking about. So what I have
done for you all is snap a few photos of my humble digs over here. So
hopefully this will give you all a little better idea of this life I live
over here. If you have any more questions about these fine living conditions
let me know and I would be happy to answer them

Where I Have Been

2006-12-30T17:58:00.000-08:00

So 2006 was a crazy year. But 2006 was also one of the best years of my life. So much happened there’s no way I could even put it all out here in words. To make this easy on me and to not consume your entire day with past tales of my life in 2006, I will give you a few key points from the past twelve months.

January - Started out with a bang. Tristan, Matt, Ashlee, Blake, and AJ all came down for a hell of a time. We all went down for New Years on 6th St. in Austin and it was a great time. It was the first time for most of them to come down and visit even though I had been in Texas for nearly a year. I use to have so really incriminating photos of AJ but luckily for him there were lost. All and all it was a great way to kick off the New Year.

February – Not a whole lot of stuff happened this month. I got promoted to the rank of Sergeant which was a really proud moment for me. I had only been in the Army 30 months and moved up pretty quickly. I guess when you are this good it’s easy. I also got my Gunner slot, which is pretty cool. I enjoy gunning and I like being in a leadership position as well. As bad as it is sometimes I really do enjoy being in the Army. I am good at it.

March – I spent a few weeks at the Army’s “Warrior Leaders Course” and it was a total waste of time. I really could go on for quite some time about how truly worthless this course has become but no one would really care. The end result is that 80% of the course curriculum is out dated and deals with an extremely small percentage of what is actually done as an NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer). I did graduate on the Commandants list which is pretty hard to do. But like I said before when you are this good it’s easy. And that’s enough about that.

April – This was a good month. Why you might ask. Holly and I went to Houston for what was planned to be nice relaxing weekend away. What she didn’t know is that I had a ring in my pocket and was just trying to build up the nerve to “pop the question”. After wandering all over the city that night I finally asked her. And she thought it was a joke. Yeah, talk about a blow to the ego. But once she finally realized that I was for real she answered with a “yes”. Which was the answer I was going for, so I must say that I was pretty happy about it. So yeah April was a great month.

May – I was at JRTC down at Ft. Polk, Louisiana. It was an interesting experience. We did our thing and got the hell out of there. You can really only spend so much time in that place. And well, that’s about all for the month of May.

June – June was a great month. In June Holly and I bought our first house. It was really rough at first but with the help of our parents and one extremely hard working weekend we started to make our house a home. A really nice home too. Holly and I also adopted our first child, Lola. Lola is a Chihuahua, Corgi, Kangaroo mix

July – I really can’t think of anything that went on in July.

August – Yeah I got nothing.

September – I think all I did was get ready for this little vacation in the sand. The very last days of September were great though. Holly and I had all our friends and family over for one last weekend together. It was great; I couldn’t have imagined a better weekend with everyone. It was a great way to get to say goodbye to everyone.

October – Welcome to Kuwait. Kuwait is the worst place I have ever been in my young life. Even worse than Iraq. I hated that place. We landed there on the 1st and on the 17th we finally made our way up here. Here is a little place known as Samarra. Good old Samarra, Iraq. It’s not the roughest place in country but the area around here is not safe by any means. During my first patrol in sector we got hit by an IED. This would be some foreshadowing on things to come for sure.

November – This was our first full month in country. It was a rough month for the battalion as well. The battalion lost two soldiers to a suicide VBIED. (Vehicle based improvised explosive device) That was the first memorial service I had ever been to and hopefully it will be the last. Once again, our platoon was hit with another IED but once again we made it through just fine.

December – Yep, just another month over here. And once again we got hit with another IED. But no serious damage to the trucks and we kept on keeping on. Christmas over here was just another day. It wasn’t the first time I had spent the Holidays overseas and sadly it probably won’t be the last. I also turned 23 years old, I’m getting old this is scary.

So that should bring you all up to speed with the doings of the past year. There really was a whole lot more, but a year is a long time and I have a pretty sorry memory so things start to slip after a while. So yeah now everyone should be on the same page we can start this little show.

My name is Jake and I am in Iraq, this is what goes on in my life. Hope you enjoy.

The Intro

2006-12-30T06:43:00.000-08:00

So, as you all can tell is has been quite sometime since I have posted on here. But this year it is one of my New Years resolutions to start posting on here again. Mainly it is another way to let all my friends and family out there in on a little more of my life here in Iraq. So I guess I kinda give you all a quick little refresher on what all has exactly gone on in 2006 and bring you up to speed on my current situation here in Iraq.
For those of you who don’t know how this blog thing works it quite easy. I post on here for you all to read. Kind of like the emails I have been sending out, but this way you don’t have to forward them on to everyone and so on. It is also a lot easier to post on here and this also gives total strangers wasting time at home or work something to read. That’s right anyone can read this. Therefore, I won’t be using anyone’s last names, address’s or anything that could cause trouble. Since I am also here in Iraq I also won’t be posting any sort of specifics about missions, my unit or anything that could possibly endanger anyone else over here. I will save all those details once we get back. There is also a fun little feature that allows you all to comment on here. That way you can let me know just how awful of an idea this truly is and that I really need to proof read these post better so I can fix my errors and actually make these somewhat understandable. One last thing is that it is much easier to post pictures. Then all you have to do is “right click” on them and save them to your shine of me. See, this will be fun for all ages and a lot more aesthetically pleasing than an email. But don’t worry I will still send emails out as well.
Enjoy!